My Dad has stage 4 lung and brain cancer. How can I have income and take care of him?

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I just lost my mother 4 in April. I refuse to put him into a nursing home. But I can not quit my job. It is killing me on how I can making a living while at home with him. I am still not dealing well with losing my mother i wont let him die alone in a hospital of any kind when he can be at home.

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You have to be realistic. You can't do it alone. Hospice is a God send. Contact them if you haven't already. Explain your situation to them. They can advise. You concern is not letting you dad die alone in a hospital situation. If he passed in his sleep, you wouldn't be there either. I guess what I'm saying is you can't control everything. You aren't superwoman. You are still reeling from your mom's passing. Dad needs more care than you can possibly provide. Listen to the people who post on this site. We have been there, done that. A wealth of experience is on this site. Listen. Dad needs more than just your willing hands. Seek help. You KNOW that your dad or your mother either wouldn't want you to jeopardize your job in caregiving. Change what you can and know that you can't fix everything. You can do this.
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I wanted to post again to address the loss of your mom. You've had a very tough go here. Losing both parents in such a short period of time is devastating. Grief can be ovewhelming, and you've hardly had an opportunity to get back on your feet from the loss of mom before you're dealing with the loss of your dad.

You've got a very tough row to hoe here, Tina. Don't let it destroy you. Hang on tight.
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You've set up some tough rules for yourself there. Can you be with him 24/7? Well, then he can still die alone. Why are you making it so hard on yourself? And probably harder on him?

If he has the funds, he can go to a nursing home and enter the hospice program. If he HAS no funds he can go to a nursing home and enter the hospice program. Sounds like that's where he belongs and where he'll be most comfortable. That's allll that should matter to you.

I'd urge you to think about what's best for your dad, not what's best for you to make you feel as though you've done your best. Sometimes "doing our best" involves knowing when we're in over our heads.

Arrange for him to get into a hospice program, and they will assist you in getting him the proper care...which will probably involve putting him into a nursing home. Then you can be his loving daughter, with him as much as you possibly can be, and keep your job.

It will be easier on both of you.
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