My 93 year old mother has always been strong willed. The characteristic served her well until she got dementia. Now, this strength is being turned against her. She has been in Memory Care for nearly two months and despite being on medication for combativeness, she still refuses to let the aides help her do almost anything.
For example, she has urinary and more recently fecal incontinence, but she won’t let them change her brief without a physical fight. She won’t let them wake her, help her dress, make the bed, bring her food or wheel her to the dining room. With my own eyes, I’ve seen the staff unsuccessfully try techniques to deflect and persuade her. Yet Mom is consistently resistant and has lost weight to the extent that last week I accepted the services of hospice for her.
In spite of it all, she says that she likes the facility.
The situation is heartbreaking and frustrating at the same time.
Does anyone have advice on managing her behaviors before it is too late?