How can I get paid to care for my elderly mom?

They do HAVE PROGRAMS TO PAY PEOPLE TO TAKE CARE OF THE ELDERLY, it is called Age waiver caregiver, through Medicaid. All you need to do is contact the Senior Citizens Center in your area or check with Social Services & they can direct you to who you'll need to speak with. It is not easy physically or financially when someone is required to quit their job to take care of their parents or a relative. As a matter of fact they have these programs just for that reason. It is less costly for the state to pay a family member to take care of one of the fore mentioned than it is to place them in a rest home, or assisted living. And don't you think they will be getting way better care at home???? Until they actually need to be place in a nursing home.
God bless you all with your situation, Dave

The elder lawyer advise a contract because otherwise it would appear as a gift and if my parents were to run out of income, and need to go on medicade, then that money would have to be returned . The medical insurance I am paying for is the biggest expense out of pocket and whatever income I earn will be primarily to help me maintain my health.. My parents are not rich or poor and I am struggling because I don't want to "charge" them however what I am trying to come to terms with is that I still have a responsibility to take care of my bills. My parents are grateful for my being here (stressful for all at times) however were they to hire someone (low end) 24/7 it is 115.00 daily. Average SNF private pay we visited was 280. a day. This is what I know to be true for my situation. I currently thank God both of them are with me and so for 2014 i am going to probably make certain I am getting a small compensation , much smaller than what I would be earning in a employment situation as I was working when health insurance cost me less than 30.00 a month for great coverage and now i am paying 556.00 a month just in medical premium...

I have a similar situation in that I have been caregiving for over 2 years, left my job to move in with my parents so they could remain in their home after my mother had 3 strokes and my father had a car accident and broke his hip. I relied on my savings although my father and mother's elder attorney suggested a contract be drawn up for me to receive compensation for my 24/7 caregiving. He said that is the best way to show this is a legitame t

my mother draws diability and g
has medicare and Medicaid. b
can I get paid for caring for her 24-7

This doesn't answer the question but PLAN AHEAD! When possible have compensation written into the POA (or DPOA). I learned this lesson the bad way with my Mother in law. So when my Father in law redid his paperwork He added a paragraph giving "pay" to his primary caregiver even if it wasn't his POA.
If there is money in the estate talk to an attorney about an employment contract that Medicare will accept paying you for care.

Most people would agree that is better to pay a family member to care for an elderly relative than a stranger or have the elderly end up in a nursing home for thier care. If the elderly have the assets, it should be used for their care no matter who or where it is. If they don't have the financial means, medicaid will help absorb the cost of their care. Caregiving is a job that sometimes requires 24/7 nonstop care. Who in their right mind would volunteer for such an insurmountable job without some type of compensation!

I agree that family caregivers should be paid. After all, you cannot get an outside caregiver to work for free, so why should you? As many of us have lost jobs or given up jobs, lost health insurance, used up retirement funds, had to go on early social security, etc. and we still have to pay all the same bills as usual for ourselves. As Riptide mentioned that other countries do recognize the value of family caregivers, and have a compensation system for them, why not the USA??

I do know that if your loved one is former military or was married to a former military or enlisted person, there is a Veterans benefit that is available to pay for a caregiver. That caregiver can from what I know be a family member or a facility. Just call your local VA branch/office and inquire about the "Aid and Attendance" program. I hope this helps.

Thanks SO MUCH to whoever it was that forwarded to me links to sites that help caregivers (maybe?) get paid. I'm printing off a large batch of answers which will then be placed on the coffee table in the living room where Dad will surely see them. And he'll read them too. And as with anything monetary, he'll not mention a word. Sad but true. But hey, who am I to give up? All I can do is try. To get some sort of compensation that is. It's been 2 years now and 2 months. I'm sure I need to get paid - am certain: and then I'll re-visit my psychiatrist. Seriously - I am grateful to you and for all the comments I've been reading since I joined yesterday. I've been writing although that has really become a back burner issue. I am trying to find a way to make all of this somehow be purposeful - give this whole situation some attention. It's difficult to put into words but 2 years ago, I felt good about myself. I now talk to myself far too much.. Anyone out there want to help me with a screenplay on taking care of a parent? As though we really have time.

Deborah - my take on the question was whether one should be paid by the person you are caring for. If your parents have a large bank account, and you give up your job to care for them, are you entitled to payment from their money? I believe you are, but the big question is, is it legal, and is it respected. There are guidelines as to how much money should/could be paid and under what circumstances. These would be government guidelines because you want to not be accused of stealing their funds, and you want to know how the IRS would treat the funds.... as gifts, or income? With 97 answers, I bet there are some good resources here. To answer your request for a group that would pay you, none could. Any non-prof or prof organization would be bound by insurance etc and you would need to be hired by them and they would be 'vouching' for you and liable for any misconduct on the part of an employee. So you could do it, if you wanted to meet their employment guidelines. What you want is to be paid in kind for the service you provide. You give up a little freedom (your job), they give up a little of theirs (their money). It's a win-win. Plus if you define it, no one can come back later with hurt feelings cause they misunderstood what was expected or what was to be paid.

I did not read a single answer that named an organization that would "pay" a family member or friend to care for an elderly person. The most helpful answer is not whether a caregiver "should be paid" but a list of resources that would provide financial relief for the caregiver who still provides for the daily expenses of living for themselves and their family/friend but who has relinquished the benefits of receiving a regular pay check themselves in order to provide the necessary care and help. Does such a list actually exist? How would one qualify for this type of assistance? There is a whole network (if you can navigate it!) of organizations that can provide financial support in various ways but I haven't found one that will pay the caregiver a salary outside of actually working for an agency as an employee. If anyone can provide the name, address and phone number of such a group, please share it with the rest of us.

There is help available in most all states: First...as to Medicaid, they offer a Home Based Waiver Program. The Va: Aid and Attendance......even if the surviving spouse was not in the military, but the other was....it can pay up to 1700 a month for the veteran and 1400 for spouse. You can find all of this out on the internet.....START the process asap, as the veterans benefits are retro active from the day of filing...there is also alot of Elder Care agencies that offer temporary respite care to give you a break. There are adult day care centers that start at 40.00 a day on up and you typically can get reimbursed for some or all....they are usually open from 7 to 6, so this allows you to work. I can't stress enough that DO NOT accept.....no....or you don't qualify.....even when it comes to some social workers that are uninformed.....keep researching !

There is a rumor in my area (Chicago, IL) that one can go to the local offices for Elder Care and ask that they evaluate your loved one, and then they can provide some type of documentation for you to receive compensation for caregiving.
I wish I knew more than this. This is clearly a state-level program, and not all states may offer it, and they may have different criteria. Pursue more info through your local Elder Care and Welfare offices. Good luck.

I know there is a way but it varies by state. I'd call the Medicare/Medicaid people and ask. Most states also have am ombudsman, and they know this stuff really well. Don't give up, though, because I know it is possible. Please let me know what you find out for your state. I will do some investigating for you, too. Best wishes! Susan (gr8fulnurse)

If you read the above posts, if your mother is on Medicaid, there is not a lot of help for you to get paid. If your mother has the money and is not on government assistance, you should be paid by her. If you have POA, check with an attorney, and if you have siblings, then set a scale of pay. I do not know the legal side in your state, so please contact an attorney. I have POA, as well as, my sister, my father has the finances to pay us a small amount, I have a CPA and this has been done legal.

rite now im lucky im a caregiver not my parents but a friend, ive worked in a nursinghome i wouldnt put my dog in one.you do have some good staff,but for the most part ,most are there for a check and thats all.they dont and are not going to take care or our elderly as well as the adult child

If you have POA you should be able to reimburse yourselves for your parents' expenses at least. Check with a lawyer. Even if all the money gets used up, it shouldn't interfere with getting Medicaid because any type of care is eligible for payment.

Okay, I understand now, I thought I read that she was financial okay, yes, being on medicaid they do not want any money spent. My brother was on medicaid, they even wanted to know if his funeral and burial was already paid. I am sorry that I do not have anymore suggestions for you to earn money, I wish that our parents would have thought more about there elder years and there children. My best wishes are with you, because you are a good daughter, keep us all updated, I hope something can happen for you to get some relief.

Thanks lostfamily for your input. What I meant on the medicaid is they question every check paid to the family member or the person responsible for the care of the person applying for assistance. If they determined that it was an unnecessary expense or an attempt to hide money they will deny you coverage and demand that you pay it back. When my mother was in assisted living I had to help pay on her rent for a couple of months. We were waiting for a back payment and when that came in I paid myself back and I was told that my mother could be disqualified for doing that. They are looking for something that may indicate you are trying to shelter money. When filing for medicaid in our state you are not allowed to gift any money during the five year look back period, this even involves to charities and churches. They will demand that it is paid back before you can qualify. They don't care who it went to just that it comes back. I have learned the same rules for the IRS do not even come close to the same rules for medicaid.

I think the problem for most of us, we feel guilty. I always find it amazing that siblings can walk away, or not change there lives in any way, and they have no guilt. But, when we step in and take care of a parent, the siblings or other family members go crazy if we want to get paid. So you, or the ones of us that take care of a parent, we should be given help and be given pay. When our parents were raising there children, they had no problem with working and letting us go to school or daycare, other, because they had to make money to live. So why should we not be able to work outside from our parents, or be caregivers for our parents and earn money, and have our families. Because we feel guilty, that is why. So if a parent has the finances to pay you, THEY SHOULD. They paid a babysitter, daycare, other for you, now they need to pay for your work. I do not understand fremont25 comment about medicaid, how can they accuse you if a parent wants to pay you for your work, if they do not pay you, they pay someone else. You do know that by law, up to $13,000 cash gift can be given a year, so instead of paying you one cash gift a year, you take monthly payments. (Check with an accountant) on that in your state. Or if they pay you, it might be necessary to get a bookkeeper for the tax issue.

I think most of us just don't want to end up losing everything in our lives because we have to be responsible for the care of our parents. It is a very thankless job because by the time we get to this point our parents are angry at everything including us. In my situation I get to hear how I owe it to her even though I married at seventeen, moved away and have never asked her for anything. She has never had to help me financially, never helped care for my children or give me emotional support, yet I owe it to her. I would also like to add to this question. My mother has the money to help pick up on the extra expenses that we have because of having to care for her but I am terrified of using her money because when I get to the point of needing medicaid help I will be accused of taking her money. Something has to change in this nation to help those of us who are trying to do the right thing.

@trish926, you're exactly right. I totally relate. After my father in law passed there was no one to take care of my mother in law except me & my hubby so we sold our place packed up & moved an hour away from my family & our friends. The other hurdle I face is my hubby is disabled & is in the middle of disability proceedings so i'm taking care of 2 people. I gave up my family, my job & friends b/c I love my in laws & if they need me then i'm there. It's sad that u cant get any type of compensation when there are people out there who get money from the government for nothing. It's not about the money but when u have bills u cant pay,taking care of someone constantly to the point u dont even have time to do 1 thing for yourself. It's a really hard life & I commend u. Hopefully we will have some luck on getting some financial aide! IDK if they have an agency called aging and disability resource center in your area but they are the ones guiding me thru the channels and trying to get me a paycheck.

To my knowledge the home waiver program is available in all states...please remember that you will get 10 different answers from ten different people.BE PERSISTANT and google away to get answers.In addition there are alot of lawyers that will answer your questions for free ! Don't give up !

If your parents have the finances to pay you, then they should be paying you. If they have money set aside to leave you when they pass, they should be paying you that money now. If your parents do not have the funds to pay you, then it is much harder to be paid. Do you have siblings? You need to do some research on what it would cost to have a full-time or even a part-time caregiver and discuss that with your siblings, if they are not willing to take care of there parents "for free" then they need to pitch in payment. Does your state have a program that you could take the classes and get paid by the state. My brother is blind and a double amputee, his 20 year old son is his caregiver, he had to be trained, but is now being paid by the state (California) It is part-time pay, but it sure helps. You again, need to do some research, since you are not working, maybe become a CNA, and then you maybe be paid that way.

Lots of hoops to jump through, but it can be done. May not be able to in this case because Dad is not diagnosed though, & pay won't be grand. Talked to mother paid by state to take care of adult quad son, & she gets paid for something like 1.5 hrs of care per day. He CAN leave the house on his own in his motorized wheelchair, but 1.5 hrs/ day to dress, undress, feed, bathe & toilet a quadraplegic? Really? They have a reverse mortgage to pay for his care, & who knows what will happen when that is run out. They will have nothing to care for themselves with.
Your best bet may be to try to figure out alternate care for your Mom that the state/medicare/etc WILL pay for, focus on getting a good job, continue to care as able, & be prepared to take care of yourself.

I have been on the waiting list for working as a caregiver for my Mom. The program has been frozen for over a year and I have heard nothing from the people who used to stay in touch and keep me posted of any new developments in the hiring process. I'm guessing this is from all the budget cuts that have taken place. I need to go to work so bad because of my husband's job and the cutback of hours, but there is no way because a caregiver is 24/7.

Ways to pay: Go to medicaid and apply for Home and Community based waiver program....also even if the person in question is only a spouse of a veteran they are entilted to:Aid and Attendance, which pays the caregiver, whether it be family or an agency ( please be persistant with them, it takes a few months for approval , but it is all retro active, so FILE NOW ) In addition your local agency for the elderly can assist in cost of installing shower bars etc PLUS , they offer a meals on wheels program for free meal delivery. Each state has there own list of agencies that may be able to offer additional services. Respite care and light housekeeping to give you a break a few hours a week and more.Get online and google away ! It is a terrible, confusing process, but don't give up until you get the right answers!

Okay, so here's what I have learned. I have been caring for my grandmother for 7+ years. It has been an up hill climb on roller blades.
1) do not feel guilty for requesting compensation for your labor -- you are earning it! Care giving is the hardest job I have ever done. I watch my grandmother die a little bit every day. And I do it alone. Her son and daughter have not seen her in 7 and 1 year respectively.
2) Educate yourself. Search on line about the laws in your state. There are states that provide for the families to create a contract allowing family caregivers to receive pay or a lien against real property.
3) If the care recipient is military or retired military, there is are programs available through the VA call them ---TODAY! Benefits are retroactive from the date you apply.
4) Ask EVERY ONE for help (respite, finances, supplies, who to call) You never know who will provide you with the answer that will help.
5) Write letters to advocacy groups, legislators, senators, anyone who will listen -- and even if they don't listen now; with enough letters, they will.
6) Understand that people who think you should not receive compensation for family care giving have probably never had to provide care. Allow them their blissful ignorance -- because anyone that has provided care would never wish the understanding on anyone.
7) Take time for you. I know it feels selfish, but this should probably be number one on my list. Start with 10 minutes. Find a hobby. Whatever.
8) Keep a diary -- I have found this helps me retain my sanity. No one can understand your particular situation -- you can. And maybe reading over in retrospect you can help yourself understand. Sometimes this job can be overwhelming, a diary at least gets it out of your head.
9) Reach out to other caregivers. You may not have as much experience as others who are caregivers, but everyone can contribute something. Even if it's only an offer of compassion and empathy...it's more than a lot of us get.
10) Forgive. Forgive society for not realizing how much we are saving the country in outside care. Forgive yourself when patience is short and demands are high.Forgive the government for saying that we as a nation need to embrace the family unit and not facilitating that ideal.
11) and once you forgive ... let it go and move on. Don't give up but allow your forgiveness to propel you forward to answers and advocacy.

I appreciate your allowing me my time on my soapbox. In answer to getting paid. It is not easy, but it can be done. There was actually a bill proposed that would allow family care givers Social Security credit toward retirement. It was not passed. Look into the family care giving contract. As for federal/state funds...it is not hopeful.

Most of the questions concerning compensation for caring for our parents is not for ourselves or selfish. It is stressfull at times, mentally, physically, and financially. I belive we are just trying to better our lives to live comfortable and enjoy our time with our aging parents; instead of worrying how we are going to pay our bills or if there is money left over for food or emergencies. God Bless all those who make the effort to care for others!!!

If this country were to spend the nessary funds as they are about taxing us to death. on "elding care let us give our older people a break ,by paying family members something ,It's a big shame on our country.