Wow, after reading some of these letters, I can see some of you are in the same boat as I am. My father is seventy six years old with multiple health problems. He is also a recent amputee and now must use a wheel chair to get around. Problem is , our house is older and a regular wheelchair will not fit through the doorways. We must use a transfer chair to move him around the house. My mother, who is seventy four also has health problems and is not always able to help my dad when he needs it, or drive him to his many doctors appointments. As of April 1,I no longer have a job, as the company I worked for closed. The ideal thing would be for me to be there caregiver, taking care of both of them. I have been doing it for the past 10 yrs. I do not understand how our government could turn down a family member taking care of family, verses a nursing home, or a home nurse. We have had home health care recently and it was a joke. I did more for them when I got home for work than they ever did. We can pay for people to have multiple children, sit around the house and do nothing etc. and yet we can not save money by doing what we are suppose to do by taking care of our parents. This country has a serious problem. I would not expect to be paid thousands a week. Base it on the salary I was making, just like unemployment. Look at the money that could be saved. If anyone knows who in the government we could talk to, I woild love too.
Majority of grown children do not get paid for caring for their parent, unless the parent can pay from their own retirement fund.
Now if the parent can pay you, the parent might as well hire a caregiver, thus giving you the opportunity to get back into the workforce.... otherwise you will be losing hundreds of thousands of dollars in salary over the years plus net worth of your health insurance, lost of funds placed into Medicare and into Social Security... loss of 401(k) contributions, profit sharing, vacation pay, sick day pay, tuition reimbursement [it all depends on where you work], etc.
Otherwise check with your State Medicaid office to see if your parent can qualify. Some States will pay you minimum wage but only for a couple of hours each day.
So my sister has volunteered to stay with my mom, who can no longer stay home alone. She will need some compensation and we siblings think we can scrap together some cash to help BUT we don't know how we could afford to buy her health insurance nor could any of us pay for the penalty of not having health insurance. What rules would protect the family from trying to help each other out here.
My dad lives with me after my mother passed away he has just broke his hip and taking therapy in the hospital i have been taking fmla at work is there any programs where i can get money to pay my bills when he comes home so i can stay home for a few months with him and not have to worry about paying my bills?
This is the most commonly asked question on this site. There are many articles and threads that discuss this. Here is a good place to start. Quick answer is that your parent would need to pay you, or be qualified for Medicaid or Veterans Assistance to get money to pay you. https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-get-paid-for-being-a-caregiver-135476.htm
Mother coming home from rehab, has heart problems, diabetics, and beginning dementia problems and insists on living in her house. We live in Texas and I would like to quit my job to care for her, what do I need to do?
Mayl51, there isn't anything you need to do for becoming your Mom's caregiver, you just do it. You need to ask yourself if you are ready for this, because if Mom has beginning dementia that could be a10 year journey.
Here are some things to think about if one is trying to decide whether to quit work to care for an aging parent.... on average if a working person quits work he/she will lose over the years between $285,000 and $325,000 which includes not only loss of salary over those years... it also includes the net worth loss of the health insurance coverage.... loss of money being put into Social Security/Medicare..... loss of other benefits such as matching 401(k).... profit sharing.... workman's comp insurance.... company sponsored life insurance.... vacation pay, sick pay.... tuition assistance, etc. [source: in part Reuters 5/30/12]
Mayl51, if you want to be paid, you need to ask your Mother to pay you. If she says yes, have an employment agreement drawn up where you list your duties, the number of hours each week, the hourly rate, what days you will have off [if any], who will fill in for you in case you can't work for a a day or more, and who will pay the payroll taxes. I know, this can become complex.
Another option if you feel that Mom will keep continuing with these health issues is to sell her house and have her move into Assisted Living. There are a lot of really nice places, some set up like a hotel. Mom would be around people of her own age, and there is usually Staff and a nurse on duty 24 hours a day.
Or Mom could hire paid professional caregivers to come into her home from an Agency that is licensed, insured, bonded and has workman's comp. That would help you keep your job so you can add into your own retirement fund.
Hope a decision is made that works out best for everyone.
I take 24 hr. care of my husband because of a mistake in his surgery , He is 85 and I will be 80 in /Feb. Looks like no help here. He is also a Vet. So much for our country taking care of their own.
I agree with all the above, there needs to be change in this country to care for the caregiver's that save the state a great deal of money from having to pay for nursing home care. Here is a website that tells you what states have what benefits: payingforseniorcare/medicaid-waivers/assisted-living.html. I'm in New York and they offer what is called Community Medicaid. When accepted Medicaid pays for the aides for in home care. Medicaid pays for nursing home care. In some areas, maybe not all, but they do in New York, they pay family members as well. They just don't pay the spouse. I am in the process of working thru this program for my mom. By the way my mom lives with me, is 81 and in the later stages of dementia. Hire a good care manager to manage the paperwork and processing, this person could make all the difference in the world for you and the one you are caring for. I hesitated going this route because I hate the red tape of government programs, but it was necessary due to lack of funds for home care which is so expensive. Again I am in New York and the care manager I am using is: hurley care solutions. If you check out her site it will give you an idea of what a care manager does. Good luck. I'm available if I can be of any further help to anyone. Like I say, I just got thru the application process, mom has been accepted, and they approved 24/7 care right from the start. So now I am working with an agency that will pay the caregivers and help me find the appropriate people to fill all the time slots. It's not an easy process, but mom's care is the most important thing and keeping her home is the primary goal. This will allow me to do both of those things and not drag me down financially at the same time. This journey is not over, I expect there will be hiccups along the way, but I have to try everything I can to make this work for my mom. Take care of yourself.
You should. People don't realize how hard it is to go to the grocery store or remember to pay bills. I know because without my son I don't know what i would do. I keep a roof over our heads but, he needs something for his personal needs.
get your mom on state health care program. then you' ll be eligible for another state program called adult foster care. who pays tax free every month., plus can visit adult day care free programs as well. some even provide transportation
The government doesn't pay for anything, taxpayers do. Every government program costs more and delivers less than promised. All the welfare states are going broke because the populations are aging and not enough children being born. In socialist systems, eventually the well runs dry.
I am a certified peer specialist with the GBHD. I dont work currently. I saved up to finish school and then my mom got hospitalized again and my stress was over whelming. I have Bipolar and panic disorder, I care for all her matters financial and legal and also gave up a lot of income my career to some degree I am going for social work my son has GAD and my husband has to work 12 hrs 6 days a week. My mom has dementia and a lot of other issues. My aunt psychically and mentally neglects my mom and prevents her from using the phone and fights me each time i visit. Making it very clear that I am not welcome nor is she. However, I don't have the space or time to take care of her. Unless i got compensated and would be happy to do so as long as i could. i already do everything except receive bill money from her and she doesnt sleep hear. However i file all her papers take her to every appointment and purchase 98% of her meds toiletries and supplies. My aunt had her on the floor on a kids mattress with nothing in her room. If I had a larger space and more time I would take her in. i live in GA and am willing to continue training. It is getting to the point i have to report my aunt for financial and emotional neglect, threats and gas lighting. My mom would have to go into a home. Can I get income to provide the resources to stay home and provide for my self kids and mom and my husband wont overwork himself to death.
You are not going to get paid a lot of money. You are lucky you get $10.00 an hour. That is not enough to take care of someone 24 hours 7 days a week. I have a mom that I want to bring home from the nursing home and the state does not have anyone reliable to come in every day to do this. Most of them don’t speak English. How do they get hired if they are unreliable and can’t speak english. My mom has trouble understanding anyone with an accent. My mom has been in the nursing home since February and I want her home. I never wanted her in a nursing home. I hate them. I cannot get paid enough from the state to stay home and take care of her. It also takes a long time to get this. Our Government needs to help the elderly. We all need to start a campaign to help all elderly people. Family taking care of family is cheaper then a nursing home. You also need medical insurance and you have to pay for that too. $10-$15 an hour is not going to cut it. I am a single person and my mom is the only family I have left. I am so tired of Social workers and state workers. They do nothing for you. They defend the nursing homes in my opinion.
The person is in their own homes/ or in homes of their children/ being taking care of by their children! Their children!! , Why should tax payers have to pay their own children to take care of mom and dad? Any how the democrats will never allow the American public that money, they have to give it to the illegals coming across the boarder.
paying for medicare! I hate it! I have been paying all my working years into medicare then when my income has decreased and can't work at I once did. They give me another bill, and I have to pay monthly for medicare! I HAVE LESS COMING IN NOW! but they take what they want from it anyway! So if children want paid for caring for their parents where does the money come from? Medicare, how will the Gov. make that money up? Raise our monthly premiums from people who can't work like they use too.
PAT SUE were either of your parents in the military? Try "Aid and Attendance" or Widows assistance with the VA. The military won't offer or tell you about these programs but there are programs out there for our vets and their spouse's, we just have to find them.
Now if the parent can pay you, the parent might as well hire a caregiver, thus giving you the opportunity to get back into the workforce.... otherwise you will be losing hundreds of thousands of dollars in salary over the years plus net worth of your health insurance, lost of funds placed into Medicare and into Social Security... loss of 401(k) contributions, profit sharing, vacation pay, sick day pay, tuition reimbursement [it all depends on where you work], etc.
Otherwise check with your State Medicaid office to see if your parent can qualify. Some States will pay you minimum wage but only for a couple of hours each day.
https://www.agingcare.com/articles/how-to-get-paid-for-being-a-caregiver-135476.htm
Here are some things to think about if one is trying to decide whether to quit work to care for an aging parent.... on average if a working person quits work he/she will lose over the years between $285,000 and $325,000 which includes not only loss of salary over those years... it also includes the net worth loss of the health insurance coverage.... loss of money being put into Social Security/Medicare..... loss of other benefits such as matching 401(k).... profit sharing.... workman's comp insurance.... company sponsored life insurance.... vacation pay, sick pay.... tuition assistance, etc. [source: in part Reuters 5/30/12]
Mayl51, if you want to be paid, you need to ask your Mother to pay you. If she says yes, have an employment agreement drawn up where you list your duties, the number of hours each week, the hourly rate, what days you will have off [if any], who will fill in for you in case you can't work for a a day or more, and who will pay the payroll taxes. I know, this can become complex.
Another option if you feel that Mom will keep continuing with these health issues is to sell her house and have her move into Assisted Living. There are a lot of really nice places, some set up like a hotel. Mom would be around people of her own age, and there is usually Staff and a nurse on duty 24 hours a day.
Or Mom could hire paid professional caregivers to come into her home from an Agency that is licensed, insured, bonded and has workman's comp. That would help you keep your job so you can add into your own retirement fund.
Hope a decision is made that works out best for everyone.
Here is a website that tells you what states have what benefits: payingforseniorcare/medicaid-waivers/assisted-living.html.
I'm in New York and they offer what is called Community Medicaid. When accepted Medicaid pays for the aides for in home care. Medicaid pays for nursing home care. In some areas, maybe not all, but they do in New York, they pay family members as well. They just don't pay the spouse. I am in the process of working thru this program for my mom. By the way my mom lives with me, is 81 and in the later stages of dementia.
Hire a good care manager to manage the paperwork and processing, this person could make all the difference in the world for you and the one you are caring for. I hesitated going this route because I hate the red tape of government programs, but it was necessary due to lack of funds for home care which is so expensive.
Again I am in New York and the care manager I am using is: hurley care solutions. If you check out her site it will give you an idea of what a care manager does. Good luck.
I'm available if I can be of any further help to anyone. Like I say, I just got thru the application process, mom has been accepted, and they approved 24/7 care right from the start. So now I am working with an agency that will pay the caregivers and help me find the appropriate people to fill all the time slots. It's not an easy process, but mom's care is the most important thing and keeping her home is the primary goal. This will allow me to do both of those things and not drag me down financially at the same time. This journey is not over, I expect there will be hiccups along the way, but I have to try everything I can to make this work for my mom. Take care of yourself.
ll be eligible for another state program called adult foster care. who pays tax free every month., plus can visit adult day care free programs as well. some even provide transportation
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/My-mom-cant-afford-to-pay-for-someone-to-come-in-and-she-doesnt-have-enough-to-pay-me-to-stay-home-S-439781.htm