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A two time veteran in his 80's who has dementia, needs to be in a veteran's nursing home. He isn't Medicaid eligible nor does he have any resources other than an SSA check.


I've applied for his pension, but not for military benefits.


He is a hoarder, very controlling, won't allow his house to be cleaned, won't allow anything to be thrown away, including garbage. His house and property are filthy.


The basement is filled with water and feces. He says he only has a "water leak in the kitchen. " He won't allow anyone to come in except close family members.


He believes he sees dead people and aliens. While he was hospitalized, all his weapons were removed from the home (by our military family) and he's demanding they be returned.


He can't recall the day, date or year. The only thing he remembers is his weapons and the wars he was in.


He goes to the bathroom and soils everything. He threw away all the food I had in the fridge.


He gropes himself at times, talks about suicide and may have sexually assaulted some of our female relatives years ago.


The nursing home forced me to come pick him up. He hit staff members before escaping and was picked up by police hours later.


They called me and asked if I would come pick him up. Cops said they couldn't force him to stay at the nursing home.


Nursing home only allowed him to stay until Medicare stopped paying.


I'm worn out, but can't just leave him by himself as I'm his POA and guardian.


Any help or advice will be much appreciated. I need assistance with filling out V.A. forms.

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I know nothing about Vet affairs but I think the thing you need to do is have him admitted to a VA hospital for an involuntary psychiatric hold. Or just a regular psychiatric unit. He is a danger to himself and others.
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I'm in Alabama and my father is in the VA home here. If you go online to the VAs web page there is an application for you to fill out. There are numerous forms you have to have plus some forms his dr. has to fill out. Is your father disabled? If he is then you have a step up and if he was in combat (which i suspect he has) you become a priority for placement. If you have questions or anything, feel free to message me. I hope this helps.
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Thank you for your response. He is a veteran of the Korean Conflict. I've called, emailed, mailed documents via overnight from the USPS to the Georgia War Veteran's Home in Baldwin County. I've just recently contacted the home in Richmond County. I've called every lettered agency in Georgia and in D.C., trying to get him into a care facility.

The basement is covered in feces and hundreds of gallons of water. The property is littered inside and out with filth.

I've carved out a tiny space in one hellishly hot room where I'm sleeping on the floor.

Two hours ago I put a 24 pack of bottled water in the freezer. I intended to put it in my cooler to keep my drinks cold.

Moments ago, he got 10 bottles of water, poured it into the sink then denied doing it.

I told him I'd just put it in the fridge. As he stood, staring at it, he stated, "I don't have a refrigerator."

I have a porta-potty. I can't go into his bathroom because he opens the door and comes in. During the short time he's been home from the nursing home, he's soiled the bathroom and wiped himself with clothing and towels. He litters as he walks, then doesn't remember.
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If you live near a VA hospital, call them and ask for the social worker. This person can direct you and has information on available nursing homes and what is required. Good luck.
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You need to get APS involved. Sounds like his house is unhealthy. Ask them to evaluate the situation. Being a health problem u can try the health Department.

You need to call ur County VA office to see what he is entitled to.

Was he in the service 20 yrs? If so, he should have recieved a pension upon retirement. The other "pension" would be Aid and Attendance and thats for his care if needed and he has to be in the service during wartime.
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Well you are good person for wanting to get him help. I would start with VA in your area. All of this is complicated.so complicated. Please stick around and let us know.

You are not alone here. Know that.
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Thank you for responding. Finding this forum and reading through the posts brings assurance that I'm not alone. Others are struggling with the same or similar issues.
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