My mother was released from the hospital 5 days ago. She slid or fell out of her chair and has been laying on the floor ever since. I can’t roll her over to clean her nor can she do it herself. I am trying my best to keep clean pads under her and dry blankets on her.
she does not want me to call 911, she gets upset and tells me to leave her alone she just wants to lay there. I am feeding her when she wants to eat. She is drinking water. I am truly at my wits end. I have been helping her for over a year now, my father and brother passed within the year as well. I don’t know who to turn to for help. Medicare can’t pay for a rehabilitation facility because she went to the hospital within 100 days of her release from a rehabilitation facility. Her doctor said they can’t help. I tried reaching out to the case worker she had when she was on the hospital. My family members have called Delaware aging something. Although these places or people seem to want to help they don’t know what I can do other then a private nurse that cost anywhere from 30 to 60 dollars an hour.
You KNOW that's not nearly OK, don't you?
I hope you have called 911. She needs more than a 'boost' to get her back in her bed/chair. The EMT's will PROBABLY assess her and take her to the ER, which you need, to ascertain her current health conditions.
If APS gets wind of this, you may be in huge trouble. This is abuse.
Please call for help!!
You've left an 84 y/o woman on the floor for 5 days b/c 'she gets upset and tells you to leave her alone she just wants to lay there' and doesn't want you to call 911. When does her wishes get overridden and common sense take over? I ask you that seriously, not to make you feel bad.
Call 911 and have the EMTs get your mother off the floor immediately. Let them check her out completely to see if they feel she's suffered a broken bone or an injury from the fall. Or if she's dehydrated or in a compromised state from being on the floor for so long. If so, she can be transported back to the ER for testing.
Then, apply for Medicaid and have your mother placed in a Skilled Nursing Facility for long term care b/c you are in over your head with caring for her at home now. There comes a time in an elder's life when a nursing home is their only option. We daughters make the decision to place them with love in our hearts and a desire to see them get good care, 24/7. My mother lived in Assisted Living and then Memory Care b/c she fell all the time, 95x to be exact. EVERY single time, the staff picked her up and got her back into her chair or her wheelchair when she became wheelchair bound. Never was she left to languish on the floor for any length of time. I knew I was unable to care for my mother and her myriad of issues at home, so off to AL she went. When her money ran out to private pay, I was planning to apply for Medicaid to fund her stay in a nursing home. She died before that happened, at 95, this past February.
There is NO SHAME in holding up the white flag of surrender and saying I CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE. We all have our limits, my friend, and it's okay to recognize those limits and say ENOUGH.
Don't listen to anyone's advice about you 'being in trouble' for this. You're doing the best you can and once it's understood why you didn't call 911 right away, you'll be off the hook. DO NOT LET FEAR STOP YOU FROM CALLING 911 FOR YOUR MOM'S SAKE!!!
And there is nothing wrong in overriding mom's wishes and calling 911 to get the woman OFF the floor now. Please do so right away. It's okay too if she gets angry with you. It's your job as her caretaker to do the right thing FOR her, even when she objects.
Good luck to you.
The thing is, refusing to let your family member help you when you're in pain is one thing. Refusing the advice of paramedics or a falls team is quite another, plus they'll be able to assess what condition she's in. Do it now.
I don’t even know myself anymore. I am trying to take care of my mother. I used to be a hard worker, now I can hardly work. This is draining me.
It sounds like you are trying so hard but you've been pushed so far beyond your limits you're just not thinking clearly. I sympathize but you've got to take the adult role and do what you know is right, not what your mom says. Please call 911 now, before she gets a pressure sore, infection, and goes septic.
You have to get her off the floor! Please call 911. It would be preferable to take her to the hospital but if she refuses (if she does not have dementia), then at LEAST allow the fire dept. to come in and assist with picking her up and getting her to her chair/bed. But if you can't roll her, then even if she is picked up, how are you going to care for her in bed or transfer to a chair. There are others on the board much more versed in the financial aspects of care, and hopefully they will chime in. But first get her off the floor!
You risk being charged with neglect if you leave her on the ground. I understand that you are doing what she tells you to, but consider what might happen if she decides to tell someone that you refused to call 911?
If she refuses care, at least it will be documented that SHE refused.
Those handsome paramedics can be very charming. Let them talk to her.