My mother was released from the hospital 5 days ago. She slid or fell out of her chair and has been laying on the floor ever since. I can’t roll her over to clean her nor can she do it herself. I am trying my best to keep clean pads under her and dry blankets on her.
she does not want me to call 911, she gets upset and tells me to leave her alone she just wants to lay there. I am feeding her when she wants to eat. She is drinking water. I am truly at my wits end. I have been helping her for over a year now, my father and brother passed within the year as well. I don’t know who to turn to for help. Medicare can’t pay for a rehabilitation facility because she went to the hospital within 100 days of her release from a rehabilitation facility. Her doctor said they can’t help. I tried reaching out to the case worker she had when she was on the hospital. My family members have called Delaware aging something. Although these places or people seem to want to help they don’t know what I can do other then a private nurse that cost anywhere from 30 to 60 dollars an hour.
I personally could not care for a person who's choice is to lie on the floor. My bad back allows X amount of movement per day and screams at me when I do too much.
For the sake of the CG, get this woman off the floor. If there indeed is a woman and she's been lying on the floor now for almost a week.
People say this - doesn't mean they can process the consequences.
Saying no 911 can mean many things; I don't want to move, I am scared, I don't want to leave family...
If the OP feels they must obey that request literally, the OP can call the Doctor for advice instead, Lifeline or another emergency helpline.
Maybe the woman's cancer is terminal & wishes to die at home.
If so, it is reasonable the caregiver gets help to arrange & provide this end-of-life care. It may or may not be possible at home.
If the person is left on the floor, bedsores, infection, aspiration pneumonia will probably do it.
"Thanks for your response. I am more then willing to put her in a nursing home. They wouldn’t take her because her Medicare won’t pay because she had a relapse with in a hundred days of being released from the home. I told the hospital case workers that I could not take care of her.
I applied for Medicaid for her she was denied she makes just a little to much they are sorry though.
I called her PCP they told me there was nothing else they could do as far as getting her in a home.
I called hospice, they told me she doesn’t fit the criteria.
I had a home nurse in for 4 days so I could go to my dads memorial that cost $2200 for 4 days.
Home health care hasn’t come out either. The case worker said they denied her.
The EMT’S were here night after night after night. They can’t take her if she does not want to go they told me!!!!
Its not like I threw her on the floor and left her there. She wants to be there. She has plenty of cushions under her and plenty of blankets on top of her.
I really wanted guidance on finding what else I could try to get help for her. I was hoping someone would tell me about a program I am missing.
Before she was discharged the last time I bought her bed so everything was in one area for her.
I am NOT neglecting my mother. This is a sad sad situation. I am doing everything I can to keep her comfortable. Every single day for the past year and a half I think of ways to make life easier for her.
I also asked her if she wanted me to reach out to another home health care she said no what did they do for her last time.
Oh, I also found another program that would help. She didn’t make too much for the program, but she lives 1 mile from the zip code cut off. So they couldn’t help either."
I gave the OP info about Miller Trusts which are available in Delaware, and urged her to see an Certified Elder Care attorney for guidance about Medicaid for long-term care.
"I am NOT neglecting my mother. This is a sad sad situation. I am doing everything I can to keep her comfortable".
Then it becomes a sad but necessary choice for the OP.
Continue or stop.
Continue making Mom comfortable on the floor.
Or, call EMS again, take a firm stand & state this stops now.
Mom can decline transport but she CAN NOT insist her daughter be her caregiver.
If the OP says no more, I quit, it's game over.
Mom gives in & is transported to hospital for assessment/treatment or if not, is forced via a Baker Act to get there.
The ball is in the OP's court here.
And of course all the Aboriginal people around Alice Springs have been sleeping on the ground for about 40,000 years.
You didn’t fall down and involuntarily stay down. During the day you get up.
But OP’s mother slid or fell onto the floor and can’t get up.
Has everyone lost their mind here?
You can't leave a person to live out the rest of their days laying on a floor. For God's sake people.
There was a post here some time ago that someone made where she asked if ot was okay to let her LO (who lived alone) with dementia to get around the house by crawling on the floor like an insect because she had pain and was afraid of falling. No one here was okay with that because it's NOT okay. I think I suggested she put the person's food and water in bowls on the floor like a dog.
It is NOT OKAY for a handicapped person who cannot get up to be left on a floor.
It is NOT OKAY for their caregivers and families to allow them to remain on the floor for one day, let alone almost a week now.
Many elderly and handicapped alike will refuse any any kind of help out of embarrassment or pride. I've had many care clients like this. They have to be told to get over themselves and everyone needs some help from time to time. Then you do what has to be done.
I'm speaking directly to Wendilyn now. If you care about your mother or any human being, you will call the paramedics now to get your mother up off the floor. As her caregiver, this is criminal negligence.
God help us all if this is what the future of family caregiving is going to look like. Grown adults leaving a vulnerable handicapped person who fell on the floor because "mommy" or "daddy" doesn't want the paramedics to come and do a lift assist. Or let the elder still living alone fend for themselves by crawling from room to room like an insect because they're in too much pain to get and are afraid of falling.
Nice. Very 'Lord of the Flies'. For God's sake get yourself together.
Perhaps this is another thread to close down further commenting on before personal attacks get sent via PMs. The OP has gotten some good advice already in the comments, not just outrage at her for leaving mom on the floor.
I vote for shutting this puppy down before it becomes an even bigger train wreck 😑
Reporting my post for mods to consider shutting down this thread to future comments.
I usually agree with you on most topics because you are experienced in caregiving and give top-shelf advice that actually helps an inexpereinced person in caregiving.
I don't agree with you here. I think this thread should be closed to commenting but it should be left up.
People have be called out when something like this is going on.
The responses being "mean" or "unsupportive" to the poster is not the problem here.
The problem is a caregiver seeking advice on how to care for her mother who's been laying on the floor for almost a week.
That's the problem. Not whether or not everyone is nice and supportive enough to Wendilyn who has left her handicapped mother who cannot get up on the floor for nearly a week.
It isn't clear to me why Mom is remaining on the floor. But if she has no mattress her aging body will not tolerate this without developing almost instant sores. A decubitus ulcer comes from pressure on tissues unable to tolerate the same, and can come within a day, and kill quickly.
If, on the other hand, this is a fall concerns issue, and there is a mattress placed on the floor there is no way that your own back, or anyone else's could tolerate giving care on the floor to someone.
You tell us that your Mom will not allow 911 to be called. Unfortunately that isn't really a choice that she can make; you have a duty of care to get her to a place where safe care can be rendered.
Please call 911. When Mom enters care contact the social worker at once to help you go through options, because this cannot work.