My sister who was my mom's (89) caregiver passed away suddenly last week. She lived with my mom. My mom can hardly see, hear or walk, her memory is also failing. She depends on someone to take her anywhere. She can't live with us because she cannot go up and down stairs. I live an hour away. My (44) year old Nephew who has been living there and would have been kicked out many years ago if not for my sister (his mother) was taking advantage of his mom. Stole money from her, she was his enabler. He doesn't work depends on SS disability because of a foot injury, doesn't have a valid driver's license, former drug addict although I suspect he still does drugs. In my mom's "eyes" he is a saint and does anything she asks. Him and I have had some blowup arguments because he feels he is entitled and refers to my mom's house and property as his. I am legally my mom's POA. His sisters have disowned him. I need to get my mom away from there and sell her home and property before he tries something. Can I get her Primary Care doctor to sign something that says she is not capable of making rational decisions?
I hope that she will eventually see your point of view. Best wishes to you.
Dad had a stroke which was the crisis that necessitated change. What I did to get brother OUT was to file an APS report for financial abuse and start the eviction process. I was lucky in that these two jolts resulted in brother leaving on his own. He also left an incredible mess for me to clean up, but that’s another story. Brother is unlikely to put forth any effort to come after me, thankfully. Lots of talk, no action. Maybe start with those two things. It won’t cost much and is pretty swift.
One very important caveat is that my father was willing to back me up in my actions. It doesn’t sound like this is the case for you. I’m so sorry as you must be incredibly frustrated watching this play out. Please keep us updated.
If your mother’s physician is a reputable professional he may choose not to “sign something g” but to arrange for a fair assessment of her cognitive abilities, done if possible) by someone trained in the evaluation of geriatric clients.
Contact her physician without delay. There are differences between “legal” competence and the assessment done by someone who knows how to ascertain actual level of functioning, but in my experience, NOTHING is more useful than a statement by a psychiatrist, neurologist, or other degrees professional with credentials in geriatric assessment. As just one example, if you wind up needing to become her designated payee for Social Security purposes, a well written psychiatric can be accepted ; social security does NOT accept POAs.
My LO was duped by someone whose devoted claims proved to be FAR DIFFERENT from what was being practiced. Her assessment provided me with grounds to take protective actions on her behalf.
You may wind up having to go to court because of his ludicrous claims, but having Mom’s cognitive assessment in hand, combined with is dubious history, should give you a useful step up.
GOOD LUCK In insuring her safety, peace and comfort.
Do know that the POA, if your mother is not so demented that she is unable to know what she is doing, can be changed by your mother at any time if she doesn't have dementia. She could, in fact, appoint this nephew.
So it comes down to this questions solely as to what you can do. What you can do also comes down to what is written in the POA. The POA my bro and I created with his Lawyer, when he was diagnosed with probable early Lewy's dementia, was so strong in giving me powers that the attorney said "Be certain that you know that all of this, all of these powers, are what you wish to confer on your Sister, along with being Trustee of your trust, because signing these documents means quite literally your sister can sell the gold out of your teeth."
You speak of selling her home and property. Is your intention then to place your mother in care?
Does your mother have a will? Is he the designated beneficiary in the will? If your mother has dementia, then any will cannot now be changed.
So many questions here. First, what does your mother want? Second, is she capable of making her own decisions. You say that in your mother's eyes this man who lives with her is a "Saint". Is he cooking for her, cleaning for her, doing other things for her? Is he paid to do these things.
Just some things to think about. Hope you will update us as you move along.
She would have to have testing done to determine if she is cognizant. (does not have to be full blown exam the doctor can determine this in the office. If other testing has been done that also confirms, great.
But she is not living alone if he is there.
If you are POA the first thing you do is get him out of the house.
The other thing..how bad is her failing memory?
In AL she can leave with someone, or go out on her own.
In Memory Care she can not leave unless she is with someone that you have stated can take her out.