My aunt is the primary caregiver for my grandparents who are 80 and 87; my grandmother has Alzheimer's and my grandfather has a defibrillator and is, well, 87. She's determined to be their caregiver, yet is overworked and stressed (she also works full-time). My mother lives out-of-state and my uncles, who live w/in 5-20 minutes of my GPs, are more into crises and handling doctor's appointments than daily care. I live about 30-45 minutes away.
My grandfather is still in fairly good health, but now drives rarely and has been showing more signs of general fatigue than he used to. He still talks w/my grandmother as if she can keep up w/the minutiae of daily life and the details of our family and friends' lives despite her loose medical compliance (he won't make her) and diminished personal care (ungroomed nails and wearing the same three or four outfits ad infinitum).
My grandmother was admitted to the ER in February due to not taking her meds for an undetermined time and I would like to avoid a repeat incident. Besides the other signs, she has been confusing me for my youngest cousin for a while now (I'm the oldest grandchild) which lets me know that she has moved out of the middle stage and into the later stages.
It took a crises before anything could be done, and by then my Mom needed a village to care for her, thus she was in long-term-care. Dad, on the other hand, was more than happy to call a caregiving agency for himself. If only my Mom had his common sense .... [sigh].