Me, my 10 yr old son and my parents lease an apartment. They are not married. They are in their 80’s. Mom has congestive heart failure and so me and my siblings care for her. My dad is physically able to work, but instead, he is trying to work the system.

He got fired 3 years ago from his job and got unemployment, which was later revoked. He was not serious about getting a job, while he was filling unemployment. He keeps trying to appeal his case and refuses to look for another job. He gets social security monthly. He also has gambling and spendthrift issues.

He used my mom for years. Now that I care for her, he’s upset that I won’t let him have her money or even my money. He pays only $200 out of $1500 worth of monthly housing expenses! As soon as he pays me, he is asking to borrow it back, He had some debts, which is none of my concern.

I refuse to be used like he used my mom. I asked him to get a job or move out. He won’t leave. Instead he calls ADS on me and claims that I am abusing him. I have had words with him and never laid hands on him. He is careless and caused damage to my car and got a red light ticket, which he tried to dodge paying for. He seems to think that he’s just gonna retire and I will the foot the bill.

I got my first degree in 2016, so I have the impending doom of loan repayments looming over my head.

My siblings never like my dad and he is not their biological parent. My dad is and has been an alcholic for decades. He says that he no longer drinks, even though he had a relapse 3 yrs ago.

How do I get him out of my apartment?

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I can understand the predicament but you really think an 85 yr old can work? Maybe a greeter at Walmart. I agree he should be paying 350, 1/4 of the rent and 1/4 of the utilities. So at least 500 a month. If he was so bad why didn't you just move Mom in and tell him he needed to find a place of his own. The best you may be able to do is let the lease run out and renew it without him. Tell him enough time ahead so he can find housing within his income, like HUD. Where I live, there are some nice Senior apts where u pay a third of your income. Since he is not married to Mom, there is nothing keeping her with him.

I agree not to give him any of Moms money or yours. You may want to tell him he needs to pay a quarter of everything because you can no longer support him. Also, like said, get another place and tell him he is not going so he better start looking.
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Dad is 85?
My answer is all wrong then, and I withdraw it.
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im not trying to defend your dads behavior...but in your profile it says dad is 85.

im not sure, but you say he is physically able to work?  what kind of work can he do?

did he agree in the beginning to pay his portion of the monthly rent? Is it stated in your lease? he drove your car without permission? :(  *hide your keys!*

how much longer is your lease? can you contact the landlord and see if they could do anything? draw up a new lease due to lack of payment from tenant? ?
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It is obvious that your Dad cannot pay the apartment lease by himself.
Hope you find a solution.

In my past, sending a bill for rent and expenses, then enforcing the intention to collect has caused the alcoholic, sociopath to leave. You need to be renting out his room (temporary is ok), and use the law to enforce collection of back rent, document that now in a demand letter.

Of course, never lend him your car. Try not to blame yourself for this predicament, but think this through discovering just how he gets away with these things.
He has no rights to be using your car, so do not hand him the keys.

Threaten to turn him into any gov't agency that he is scamming.
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Have a locksmith on standby and when he leaves, change the locks.
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Sendhelp Aug 2018
Hi Ahmijoy!
Wishing the laws supported just changing the locks.
1) If he is on the lease, he can come with a locksmith and enter legally.
2) If he keeps his address on his driver's license, he can also enter with the help of a locksmith.
The retraining order, eviction for non-payment of rent (do not accept a partial payment) are the legal means to get him out, then changing the locks is best.

Then.....will Mom just allow him back in?
Unless vacancies are very limited it might be easier to move and leave him behind.
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How do you determine who the apartment actually belongs to when everyone's name is on the lease?
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