I have no contact info on her at all and she is somewhere in Arkansas. My father has been with me for almost 5 years now and his health has deteriorated significantly over the last year to the point that I am no longer physically able to care for him. I was told that he wasnt able to go into a facility with assistance from Medicaid for the cost because he is still married to her and that they have to make sure she doesn't need his income to live on in order to be approved for Medicaid.(?) I do not understand this at all. We can not afford to pay for what Medicare would not cover.
I agree, get the advice of an elder care attorney. My parents are married, but we were advised to file for Medicaid separately. You are not getting the proper advice from Medicaid. In my state, I have found them to be helpful, courteous, and for the most part, knowledgeable, but there have been a few times that we were told conflicting information. Go on your state’s website and try to educate yourself as much as possible (I know, it’s hard to understand all of the legal mumbo-jumbo).
You are not being told the whole picture.
There should be a way this can be handled as since your Dad has no contact information on his wife, that means she had abandoned him. Unfortunately Dad can't file for divorce now as he won't be able to understand the legal documents involved. There is where the Elder Law Attorney comes in suggestions on what to do.