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I moved in with my father who has dementia (caused by multiple strokes) to help caregive for him 2 years ago. He's not 65 yet so he can't get Medicare. He also can't get Medicaid because he owns 2 properties. I work, and between my father's SS money and MY MONEY we are able to pay for professional help. My sibling lives in my fathers other property (he doesn't help out at all) and he won't leave the house. So basically i'm being FORCED to pay for my father's care.


What legal action can I take to make him leave? He's not contributing anything to the caregiving of my father, so not only do I have to pay for his medical needs, I have to take off work because sometimes the home aids can't make it, so my income is affected. It's like I'm handcuffed.


Is there ANYTHING that I can do? Help!

As others have posted here, your question indicates you may need to take several steps to get authority over your father's financial affairs before you can move toward stabilizing the situation.

You didn't mention a Power of Attorney document, which could provide authority to manage and sell real estate. If there is no POA, you can petition your state's probate or surrogate court for authority to manage and sell assets.

Your sibling would get notice of any court proceedings, and may oppose what you are trying to do.

If you contact an elder law attorney in your state who has experience with real estate and probate procedures, you can get ideas on how to begin solving the problems. The no-rent tenant living in your father's real estate, eligibility for at-home care payments from Medicaid, and reimbursement for your care giving work should be on your list of questions.
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Reply to John L. Roberts
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Tazorac Sep 4, 2018
Hello John....does probate/surrogate court have a fee? I went to an elder lawyer 2 weeks ago and they said that my situation is a court situation and that would run me AT LEAST 8000 dollars. Once again, I would be spending my money.

I think I may have to contact social services to see what they can do for me.
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First of all, DON'T use your funds.
Does dad get disability? He may be able to get Medicare if he gets SSDI. medicareinteractive.org/get-answers/medicare-basics/medicare-eligibility-overview/medicare-eligibility-for-those-under-65

It really sounds like you'd benefit from talking to an eldercare attorney. Does your brother pay rent? If not, why not? Have you started eviction proceedings?
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Reply to BarbBrooklyn
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Tazorac Aug 8, 2018
Dad doesn't get disability yet. The house is paid for but my brother doesn't pay taxes on the house. and I'm forced to do that as well. I don't think I have any rights to even start an eviction process. That's the problem. Maybe I will have to seek advice from a lawyer. I hope thats free...I've had enough of spending my money for his care.
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If you aren’t your fathers POA you may need to file for guardianship. This would enable you to legally evict your brother since I’m assuming your father can’t. However do speak with a certified elder attorney to guide you through all this. You can probably get a consult where the necessary steps could be explained to you and you could better understand your and your dad’s options.
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Reply to 97yroldmom
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Tazorac Sep 28, 2018
Went to an elder attorney and I would have to spend more money to get file for guardianship...like 10,000 dollars more just to start the process for guardianship. This is an awful situation with no way out.
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As Barb stated, you must seek out an eldercare attorney. This situation can't be allowed to continue, but you will need professional advice to end it.
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Reply to CTTN55
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Sorry, I didn't realize dad wasn't on SSDI, just drawing early SS retirement. Is dad competent enough to sell the property your brother is living in? If so, help him get it sold. I don't think the basic issue is getting brother to leave the house, but rather increasing the money available to pay for dad's care. I still say sell the property and let a new owner deal with the brother.
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Reply to vegaslady
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The second property may be disqualifying for Medicaid because it's not producing income. I'm guessing that your brother doesn't pay rent. If that's it, then maybe he should be paying rent. That rental income may put dad over the income limit as opposed to the asset limit. Why not sell the other property and use the money for dad's care? Don't bother trying to get brother to help, just sell the property out from under him, and take care of dad. If brother needs housing point him in the direction of community resources.
If dad has been disabled and getting Social Security for 24 months he should be on Medicare by now. Why isn't he? If he's on Medicare look into getting on a Medicare Advantage program (Medicare Part C) or buy a Medicare Supplement insurance.
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Reply to vegaslady
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Do you have a Durable Power of Attorney for your dad? This is the document that you will need for property issues.

If you do, you can start the eviction process to get your brother out of dads other house. Unless, the two of them have a written agreement.

If this is stopping your dad from getting the care he needs, you may be able to file a complaint for elder exploitation. States frown upon anyone taking advantage of a vulnerable senior.

I know this just sucks no matter how you look at it, you are going to have to be strong to get through this. Keep track of your out of pocket for dad's benefit, you may be able to get it all back when the house sells. Do a loan contract with dad if he is able and you will have 1st rights to get reimbursed.
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Reply to Isthisrealyreal
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