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I am a caregiver and have been taking care of my disabled wife for 19 years. Due to her disability I have not had any lover since her illness and disability. I am interested in finding psychologists who can counsel me and the two of us, perhaps.

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I am glad that you are seeking help. I encourage you to do so. I can’t imagine how difficult this situation is for you.

I wish you all the best. Please stay in touch with the forum for help or even just to chat or vent.
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I’m caring for my wife only by myself. I have moved my work to my home in order for this arrangement to succeed. In addition, I have other disabled family members living with me, for whom I do receive help, which is at times unreliable and can be quite chaotic. However, with the helper at home for a few hours, I have an opportunity to do errands. In the course of that time span, I have developed minor health problems that require some discipline for being overcome. I think, that’s where I need psychological counseling. Thank you for your concern, feedback, and words of support!
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As NHWM suggests, your physician, friends and clergy are a great place to start. Another option is to reach out to your insurance and inquire what providers are in your area. Many of us just do a quick internet search. Google “psychologists near me” and you’ll get a list so you can begin to research which one may be best suited for you. I admire the devotion you’ve shown your wife and I sincerely hope your search for a therapist works out.
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NeedHelpWithMom Feb 2020
Thanks for bringing up insurance. Important point as therapy is expensive without it.
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I’m so sorry that you are struggling with this. 19 years is a long time!

Ask your primary doctor for a referral. That’s where I would start. Ask your wife’s doctor.

Maybe ask friends if you are comfortable doing that. Perhaps even your clergy because they hear feedback in the community.

You can even ask the social worker at your hospital or a nearby hospice facility?

Are you caring for your wife by yourself? Do you have any relief?

Best wishes to you and your wife.
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