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My 91 yr old mother lives in Assisted Living for Independent Adults. She was diagnosed approx 3 yrs ago with mild dementia probably caused by lacunar infarctions in her brain. The residents of the Assisted Living for Independent Adults eat brunch and dinner in a communal dining room. Brunch is self serve and dinner is served. My mother often sits with a few women that are in wheelchairs and that are served brunch as they are not able to serve themselves. My mother had suffered a possible TIA a few weeks ago and her balance was off for a couple of weeks, however, she is back to walking without a cane or other walking aide. My mother took exception to these women being served and not her. I tried to explain to her that she was very capable of getting her own brunch and that these women were not. Finally, I told her to speak to someone at the front desk. The front desk person explained to her that brunch is self serve, however passed my mother's concern on to the serving staff. Someone on the serving staff spoke to my mother and probably was very pointed in explaining that my mother was not going to be served. I spoke to the front desk person again about the way my mother was spoken to by this person. Now my mother indicates the serving staff are watching everything she does and they maybe or not. As I am typing this I am thinking this is so silly, however, I have been listening to this for several days and have not been able to divert her to something else and it is getting worse and worse. I should also mention that my mother is severely hard of hearing even with aids and often does not interpret peoples expressions and body language correctly. She fills in the gaps based on her belief.


Any suggestions??

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There is no assigned seating, they are able to sit wherever they wish. She does sit at other tables however often sits by herself. The situation may have solved itself. Yesterday morning, one of the serving staff offered to carry her coffee to her table for her. To me it seems that she sees others being treated special and she is not.
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That’s hard, because of course she has been watched by the staff. That was why she was served when necessary, and then why it changed back. At present it sounds as though she is the only one on the table who is treated differently. Are there any larger tables, that might have both arrangements? Or could your mother move tables?
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