I miss my real Mom. She is a shadow of herself, with no personality.
Everyday I pray and say to myself I'm going to have more patience and be loving and kinder and touch my mom more. But I stay the same like a robot and bring her meals dress her and mostly leave her by herself . The guilt is awful. She's hard of hearing so I have to talk loud. Which makes my chest hurt. I cannot reason with her. She's says the craziest things I've ever heard. Don't understand something she is looking straight at. It's so upsetting every day. I miss my cool beautiful Mother. She was everything I aspire to be. Now she walks around half clothed smelly and hardly talks unless it's asking for food or drink. And I stay with a chip on my shoulder as my dad would say all the time. Any suggestions would help and thank you.
