Since my mom moved in with me she has not heard from my oldest brother (Butch), even though her phone number has not changed - so if he cared he could call her. Thing is...I will not allow him in my home and I really don't think it would be healty for her to start any communications with him. (yet I obviously haven't made this clear to her). Maybe she's feeling sentimental because of Christmas? Thing is, he abused me as a child (even though mom doesn't know to what extent). He sexually abused his own daughter (which mom does know). He is a 3 time ex-con for manufacturing and dist. of meth. He is an alcholic, thief, and very hateful. Butch never works and just lives with other drug addicts. He constantly drained my parents when dad was alive to the tune of over $30,000/year.
Mom is not mentally able to live alone so after dad died, we have taken her from proverty to a life anyone would cherish. She has a nice section of our awesome home, we take care of expenses, she has gained weight and goes to church and the beauty shop every week. She has absolutely no conflict in her life anymore. However, she has dementia and doesn't act or think normally most of the time. Example, she says my dad never cussed - ha - when everyother word he ever spoke was a cuss word. Mom whistles all the time, has macular degeneration, osteoporosis, depression, dementia, and high blood pressure and is half deaf. I've got her leveled out with a good doctor and medications so she can function somewhat normally and seems in good health most of the time. We still let her drive to Wal-Mart and back by herself and to the beauty shop but she can't just venture off because she gets lost. So it is seems easy for her to fake her real self around others for short periods of time. Getting my oldest brother back in the picture would be the worse thing ever - she would be opening herself back up for pain and misery. The only way I know mom is wanting to find my brother is because she called my other brother's wife and asked her to help. My sister in law (SIL) called and told me but I haven't had the guts to bring it up at home. SIL told mom, no she had no way to find Butch.
I would love to put her in assisted living because she has put so much stress on me and my hubby but I don't know how and I don't think I could trust her from causing total chaos. I just emotionally and mentally exhausted and would love to hear from anyone who has ever had similar situations or could give me sympathy (ha).