She won't allow me or anyone to change ANYthing. She has NO money, NO savings and yet she continues to literally pay THOUSANDS more on pretty much EVERYTHING than she needs to be.
She's mentally pretty darn good, although the other day she finally admitted that she had made MULTIPLE late payments last year that added up to quite a lot of money.
She's scared. And I understand how horrible that must be. I truly do. She's scared of losing her mind, and she sees the changes happening within herself. I always want to treat her as a person, the same person she was when she was young, and I know she appreciates and notices that I do. But she is in no position to be throwing so much money away. She needs it for health needs, home repairs, etc. I would like her to stay in her home until the end if at all possible.
I'm at my wit's end. I've tried humor, kindness, the sweetest approach, the angry approach...nothing works. She says "she'll do it when she's ready". Perfect example; her roof needed to be done 15 YEARS AGO. She "was ready" when the ceiling and drywall started to fall in the house and it was 'raining' in the house. The roof project put her in the hospital for 5 days. Now it's termites. She won't tent. Period. I believe her stubborness has a lot to do with my father dying. She changed quite a bit after that in 2005.
Does anyone have any suggestions that would leave my mom feeling dignified, still in control, get her to change her mind and let her kids help her save thousands of dollars that she's wasting, but also not kill her in the process??? Help.
your mom is lucky to have you, I don’t believe in luck, you love your mom I know, but you have to stop listening to her, stop feeling guilt, get a DPOA, and do the right thing, no matter how much it hurts you, and it will hurt you, she is your mom she has already placed her strength in you, I can see that in your question, trust your gut, always listen to yourself, the answers are within you, we get it, you are a caring daughter, but now it’s time for you to allow your super hero self to accomplish the task at hand, what you perceive as wrong isn’t always wrong
big huge super hugs to you!!
Also, tell her she can have you put on all her bills as a contact if her bills don't get paid.
What insurance policies? And who gets the money? Not Mom, right. If she can't afford the premiums and they have cash value, cash them in. I can see insurance if ur a married couple with kids and a mortgage. If something happens than there is money to pay the mortgage and care for the kids. To protect a surviving spouse. We had an insurance policy that would cover our mortgage and give me enough money to get on my feet. It started costing us more as my DH got older. When the kids were grown and the house paid off, we cashed it in. Beneficiaries of insurance policies are not obligated to pay the insured bills or funeral. My friend was told u can have too much insurance.