My father is 81 and has has 2 strokes. He lives with his disabled grandson. My mother controlled all of the finances. Now that she has passed away I'm on his checkbook and I pay all his bills. He spent all of her life insurance money and now he has gotten a reverse mortgage behind my back and he's taken a lot of money out of ATM machines. He also has been scammed out of money. He will not allow any of his kids to be POA. I don't know what I should do. Should I just let him fall or because I'm on his checkbook take his money out and put it in another bank and cancel his Debit card. I was told I could get a paper saying I'm in charge of his finances and he can't do anything about it.

If you can search his room see if he has a bunch of those department store or pharmacy debit cards. He may be part of an overseas sweepstakes scams. He would be told to hold on to the cards as a receipt but actually the money is already vanished. He will most likely be obsessed that this is real. Take charge ASAP to stop the bleeding
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to MACinCT

I believe that you would be responsible for any overdrafts on the account if you have signing rights it is a joint account, per banking rules.

This account can be used as his budget account, decide on a monthly amount and spread out access by doing deposits every 3 or 4 days, see if you can set up an overdraft protection plan or do prepaid debit cards.

This is a tough situation , my dad has plowed through 20k in 3 months. The ombudsman told him he could do as he pleased, so here we are.

Hind sight - I would have gone to SSA and applied for representative payee, then he would not have had free access to any money. You do have to keep records and show how his money is spent, I would ask about the monthly mad money to be sure that would not end up being rejected in the accounting.

Please be knowledgeable about what is legal in your state, you don't want dad calling the police because you stole all his money, being able to do things is not the same as you should and can legally.

Best of luck getting him under financial control.
Helpful Answer (3)
Reply to Isthisrealyreal

I believe your dad is impaired, either due to the strokes or dementia. If you’ve been given a solution of taking his money out and cancelling his cards, do it. He will be furious, but for his sake and your’s, you need to get tough and do it. If his Social Security is direct deposit, you’ll have to switch that too, and it may require a trip or a call to the local office. If he won’t agree to that, you might have to enlist the aid of an Elder Law Attorney and find out how you go about this. You may be advised to have him declared incompetent and take guardianship.

This is all serious stuff, but if Dad should need to be in a facility and you need to apply for Medicaid, you’ll need some sort of authority, not only to place him but also for the sake of the disabled grandson if your father has guardianship of him and there are no parents in the picture.

If there is family available to discuss this with, I’d suggest you do so. You’ll need help and support handling all this.
Helpful Answer (2)
Reply to Ahmijoy

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