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I am a 65 year old woman and am guardian for my 69 year old intellectually disabled brother. He now lives in a nursing home, but I often transport him to appointments, or take him on outings. He has various health issues (diabetic, CKD patient on dialysis, etc.), and is completely incontinent (doesn’t produce much urine, but frequently has diarrhea). I am worried that at some point when we are out I will need to clean him up and put him in a fresh Depends. I am willing to clean him up, but cannot figure out how I would do this, since he wouldn’t be able to lie down (he can stand and walk short distances with a rollator, but spends most of his time in a wheelchair), and even if he could stand long enough, I can’t go into the men’s room, and don’t think I could take him into the ladies’ room. Has anyone dealt with this?

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Yes. I used the disabled toilets when assisting. Better space, more private & non-gendered. I started keeping a ‘clean up kit’ in my car after a big mess day.

But, after injuring myself twisting, lifting etc I decided this was no good. I needed other solutions.. a Plan B. & Plan C.

Plan B: Bring help. Support Worker has been now hired for longer outings.

Plan C: Cover up. This is what the Paramedics told me to do. Blanket (towel, jacket or plastic bag) over the lap to cover up. Return home for clean up.
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Reply to Beatty
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You can take him into the ladies room. Take him into the handicap stall. Anyone that says anything, ignore them. Keep moving. Have his aides teach you how they change him. They'll have excellent tips for you. Have chucks/pee pads (literally cheap puppy pee pads from the dollar store will do) under him in the chair so all it takes is to change it. No having to make him wait for you to wipe it down. Have gloves. The Depends/Briefs tear at the sides and can be used as a pre-wipe, keeping the back end on while wiping towards the back with the front of the brief, if possible for you. Pretty difficult to do in a sitting/standing position, though. Use disposable baby wipes to clean him up before having him sit on the toilet to step into a new pair. Whenever weather permits, elastic waistband shorts are easier to get on and off than pants. Bring small trash bags to place the soiled brief, used baby wipes, and your gloves in before placing in the bathroom trash. Also have household disinfectant wipes to clean up the stall afterwards. Wash your hands, turning off the faucet when you are done with a paper towel and wiping off the faucet handles with the disinfectant wipes. The nursing home may be able to send an aide with you to appointments. I see this pretty often at the nursing homes I go to for work.
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Reply to mommabeans
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I took my Husband into the women's restroom on many occasions.
I would always announce before I entered. If anyone was there I would explain and never did I have a problem.
There were 2 occasions when he got away from me and entered the men's room and I would announce myself, if there was no one there I would enter.
Most places now have "Family washrooms" and you could use that.

Removing soiled pull up briefs takes a bit of practice but it can be done.
YouTube is great for instructions of all kinds. You can start there.
(first hint you can tear the sides of the pull up to make removing them easier.)

You might want to ask the CNA at the facility where he is currently living to show you how to do a change when he is standing.

If he can not stand for the length of time it would take for you to change him then....Don't.
Keep absorbent pads in the car with you.
don't travel a great distance
don't stress about things that you have no control over.
just know that you may have to adapt your planned schedule for the day.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Have nursing home change his diaper and clean him up right before you go out so you don’t have to deal with it. Hugs 🤗
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Reply to CaregiverL
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I have dealt with this many times because I was a homecare worker for 25 years. What I used to do is phone ahead to wherever I was planning on taking the client and ask the establishment if they have a family restroom facility. Or if it would be acceptable for me to bring the client into the ladies' room (if it was a male) or if I could bring them in the mens' room should they need assistance due to incontinence. ALWAYS call ahead of wherever you bring him and ask about it. Explain your situation.

The places who are okay with you going in a mens' room or the ones who have a family restroom, write them down. These will be the places you can go with your brother.

How you change his diaper out in public should you need to, is first make sure you have all of your supplies (same as when you care for a baby). Diapers, wipes, gloves, paper towels, plastic garbage bags, a change of pants, and yes, an extra pair of socks (trust me on this one), a pack of Clorox wipes (or the like because no one should EVER leave a mess) and a small spray air-freshener.

Get him into the handicapped stall in the bathroom if the place has one. Then sit him on the toilet and clean him up. Dispose of the mess properly and clean the place up if needs be. Then you're good because you came prepared. Good luck.
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Reply to BurntCaregiver
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I haven't dealt with this. I'm just chiming in to say that you are an angel for being your brother's guardian and taking him to appointments and on outings. He is very fortunate to have you in his life.
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Reply to Rosered6
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