Mom was placed in a skilled nurse facility in October. There has been no visitation due to staff or residents testing positive for Covid. Mom calls several times a day crying and asking when will we come and take her home. It’s heartbreaking. Sometimes she understands the pandemic but most of the time she doesn’t remember . My sister is on high emotions since she can’t visit mom and wants to take her into her home when mom gets approved for Medicaid . She thinks she will be able to get 24/7 care for her but I doubt that round the clock care would be approved. I am hoping and praying they New York State passes an Essential Caregivers Bill like other states have and I would be able to visit her and assist in her care. In the meantime like so many people I am really struggling to keep from breaking down through all of this emotional turmoil.
Look for the best facility possible and don’t feel guilty.
Wishing you and your mom all the best.
I agree with Beatty; with lockdown I think that the isolation is devastating to our elders. I think a realistic attitude should come now until we have a vaccine, and that is that we elders are at risk wherever we are. Question now is what care can family realistically provide in home, what care are they willing to provide in home, and how to make the best of what is, and will be for the remainder of the winter and into spring an awful situation.
In short the awful news is that not everything can be fixed in this dreadful circumstance. I wish you the best. You are going to have to come to some realistic peace in knowing that your Mom is at risk now, period. And do the best you can. Very hard times.
my mom lived with me and my husband prior to going to nursing facility. It was not pleasant to say the least. Mom didn’t want to live with us and it was a strain on my marriage. Now she’s in a skilled facility that is in lockdown probably for months. It’s harder on mom because she feels her children abandoned her. We do the zoom calls every Sunday but she is not interested in taking part. Partly due to her being angry at us and it’s just hard for her to focus. So I get a many phone calls daily with her crying and begging to go home. My sister is emotionally reacting to everything and wants her home with her. I’m trying to explain to her it’s not realistic and she will most likely not receive 24/7 help from Medicaid
it was hard enough for me and my husband to care for her and we are both nurses. I’m am trying to see if I can get compassionate care visits. Not sure if that would help mom since she’ll only want to come home with us. It’s the Covid pandemic that dealt us all such a blow.
Its a vital right to have visitation for residents in nursing home. Now mom will feel abandoned and isolated in her remaining time her with us. It’s so hard to accept.
I worked in an emergency Covid hospital for a short time.
We tried to accommodate video calls with family as per family requests - every few days or every day. Nearly all had some dementia & needed staff to hold & work the tablet.
Clothing, toys, equipment, funds for tablets were all donated. Many had little or no English & this contact with family was vital. We played traditional cultural music after lunch & sang with patients. We became their family for a short time.
Can you make a set time you & your sister call Mom? Can she work the video function? What do you like to do together? Can you show her your garden? Or cat/dog? Or just sit with a cup of tea each? Make it tea party time! ☕🍪 Maybe you both have copies of some photos you can reminisce over? Could you help find something for her to watch on TV for after you hang up? Or a radio program?
I used to put the tv cooking channel on for one lady who had cooked for her large family. Another (an ex-model) would love to watch the soaps. Hopefully there are still some sort of activities running, like singing?
Stay strong. Many (((hugs)))
I don’t know how I would make it through the day sometimes without it.
It is the glue that is holding me together.
I do trust in the Lord to watch over my mom and like Padre Pio says : Pray, Hope and don’t worry!
Sometimes it is very hard to do.... not worry.
I don’t know how to handle this because I don’t have much experience with ALZ. My godmother was the only person that I knew that had it and she died pre-Covid.
Others will be more familiar and can help you so stick around for answers.
Best wishes to you and your family.