How can I be patient with my mom when she says the same thing over and over again?

Hi Moonbeam. I know how it is to lose it. My dad would keep closing the window, then I would open it, rewind-replay, rewind-replay. There were a ton of things, and it bugged me he couldn't change. But I lost my dad last week, and now I seem to have all the patience in the world, if he would just be in the room next door again. Just see the things you love about her, and know that the rest is just not her. Help her and the patience comes.

I am new to this site, and just reading the posts above have made me feel normal. I am the primary caregiver for my 86 year old grandmother. She still lives in her own apartment, but she has issues with her sight, and she's not as stable in her walking as she was 6 months ago. She's very insecure and very fearful. Her sons live out of state and provide very little support, and her daughter, my mom, has horrible anger issues, and resents her mother terribly. That leaves me! I have found that lately my patience level is wearing thin. I get so frustrated with my grandmother's constant complaining, and I have my own issues with her adult children, who view her as a burden, and rely way too much on me. I haven't had any outburts of anger in front of my grandmother, but my husband sure listens to me vent when I get home. God bless him, he's been a huge help to me. It's nice to know there are others who feel the same way.

I don't think there is a caregiver alive that does not get angry at times. The one being cared for can be a handfull. I have just started caring for my mother and sometimes I just want to scream.

When I feel that level of frustration coming on I step out for a few minutes. Sometimes I have to walk away many times in a short period of time.
My mother was not the best Mom. She has always had an issue with anger and now it is ten fold. But what are we going to do about it? Not much, just try to keep your own mental health in check

I am going through the exact same situation - it is extremely difficult. I love my Mom but I find my patience is wearing extremely thin. And just like you - I wish I could just have more patience... A friend who works with Alzheimer's patients (though my Mom doesn't have Alzheimer's) told me to just smile and nod because they won't remember words just feelings... She also pointed out my Mom is not herself all the time - sometimes she just wants to talk about the old days - other times she is just lonely and wants to talk just to be talking but as she never does anything new - she has to rely on her old memories.... I have tried it and I think there may be a learning curve for me because it hasn't worked thus far - or at least it doesn't work for long - I end up getting stressed anyhow.. As far as the meds go - I wrote out a list in very big print of the times and medicines to take and so far it has helped wonders... So basically, I have no solutions - just know there are others in your situation :) and you aren't alone!!!