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My brother and I have equal financial and medical POA. I live about 9 hours away and he lives about 15 minutes from Mom. My father passed January of this year and a month later, my brother took my Mom to the bank. They removed my father's name and added my brother on her accounts. My Mom just wanted him to pay the bills but didn't know he could do that without being added. She wants me added as well now to make it right. My brother will not cooperate. Do I need his permission to access the accounts as POA? I'm noticing he and his wife are shopping more than usual and want to see what her money is being spent on. She's constantly asking me to send her things and I do because I am financially able. We are also 50/50 on the will and the executors as well. He has been cleaning out my Dad's garages and put a vehicle in his name. There's so much more I don't know what to do.


Mom's memory is declining rapidly and she needs more care but he tells her how expensive it is and she agrees with everything he says...

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You share POAs or your secondary, meaning you don't have full POA unless brother dies, can't carry out his responsibilities or steps down. If you are equal, then he has to be transparent.

If Mom is competent, the POAs are not even in effect. Even though my Moms was immediate, I used it as a tool to help her. She was good at asking for help when she needed it. But she made all her decisions until she couldn't, then I took over. If your Mom can make informed decisions then you can take her to the bank and have your name placed on her acct. And why there, have it made where u and brother are beneficiaries, POD, so her acct does not need to go thru probate.

Read your POAs carefully to see where u stand.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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If everything is shared equally between your brother and you, why isn’t he being transparent?

He should willingly show you anything that you want to see. I would view this as a red flag.

Good luck getting to the bottom of what’s going on.
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Reply to NeedHelpWithMom
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Ugh. This is definitely suspicious. He won't cooperate? Gotta be hiding something. Must be time for you to make a trip out there to see what is really going on. Sorry.
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Reply to againx100
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First and foremost, if your Mom does not have cognitive impairment then the PoA is not in force, unless she created a durable PoA. In your profile you don't mention dementia as an issue for her right now. So, is she unable to get herself to the bank to request a statement?

For you to get access you will need to take your PoA documents and your Mom physically to the bank to add you to the account. Once you get eyes on what's been happening to her money, then you can decide to take this evidence to an attorney.

If you live 9 hours away from your brother how do you know he's "shopping more than usual"? If you're getting all the information about this activity from your Mom, please know that if she is at the beginning of cognitive decline and short-term memory problems, what she is telling you may not be accurate. Been there, done that with my MIL.
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Reply to Geaton777
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You need the advice of an attorney. RIGHT NOW and fast.
Your mother may need to withdraw all her funds to a new account if she is still able, and to have her SS sent to that new account.
See an attorney WITH YOUR MOTHER now.
If he finds he so declined that she cannot change things from this awful mess then you need to contact APS and tell them you fear that your brother is perpetrating fraud on your mother through his use of her account. They will investigate. If not then an attorney will, and this is paid for by the POA your mother already wrote.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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