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I have been living with&taking care of my elderly parent for 12 yrs and have one older sibling living down the street that only bothers with the parent three times a year. When my parent got sick the sibling took him to the hospital and told the nurses I was not to be given any information and she was in charge and they obeyed. what do I do to protect myself from this happening again.

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Take your healthcare proxy to the hospital and have them put it in their system.
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Who has the general POA here?
If you do not have general POA and are responsible for housing and care without a care contract you are really in an awful position for these 12 years.
If your parent is competent then it is time for the two of you to see an elder law attorney.
If your parent is incompetent it is time to do that alone and seek guardianship through the court.
I hope also that if you are managing your parents money that you are keeping meticulous records.
Good luck.
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Does your parent have dementia? If not, then your parent can assign you as their durable PoA or make your their Medical Representative through signing the HIPAA form. But I'm a little bothered by how you came at this, making it about you protecting yourself. It's your parent that needs protecting. It's not a custody battle or power struggle but making decisions in your parent's best interests. What do you think is the reason your sibling did this after being minimally involved for so long? If I were you I'd make sure the parent went home to live with this sibling full time so they get a taste of what it's like to be a caregiver. If your sibling believes they are the better choice to represent your parent, then they can do ALL of it.
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lm1212 Mar 3, 2025
My sister has trouble with reality somehow she has convinced everyone she is RN and knows everything about the Medical field without stepping a foot into any collage. She had my Dad co-sign for a brand new truck and they missed the first payment and where over 90 days late on 7 payments right after destroying my dad's credit and when he asked her about the letters he was getting she lied and said oh we paid that.I have spent the last two years trying everything to repair his credit for him. Of course It's not about me that's why I wanted to take care of him 12 yrs ago. My sister thinks she's in charge, She knows better, I'm stupid she's smart, tell's my Dad listen to her not me, and does not respect any of our wishes and does what she wants causing a screen everywhere she goes. When I tried handing my Dad his hearing aids in the hospital she said no put them away it will confuse him that's when I realized how dangerous to my dads well being and mine. thank you for responding.
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Get the health proxy and HIPAA release on file with the hospital.
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