How can a family that was abused help their stepfather who abused them and their mother?

I understand the resentment of brothers not helping but they too were abused and Mom allowed it. If I had been abused by a step-father, the last thing I would do is enter his home. Some people cannot forgive the scars run too deep. Your husband seems to be the forgiving one so he has taken on the responsibility. But he does not need to continue it. If he has POA and his Mom and SDad need 24/7 care then place them. He is not obligated to care for an abuser. If he is not ready to place Mom, then place SDad. The best way to get SDad placed would be if he is ever hospitalized and sent to rehab. Ask to have him evaluated for 24/7 care and if needed transfer him to LTC. Their assets can be split with SDads being spent down and Medicaid applied for. His care can be turned over to the State at that point. Then you only have MIL to care for.

Its got to be so hard for your husband to care for a person who abused him. So it may help to remove that person. Maybe the brothers then would be more likely to give a hand with Mom.

I meant that I do not want him to dislike his brothers ...typo😞😞

Thank you so much for your answers ...being married for 43 years to my husband there is a lot of good history with my MIl since he left home at age 18..That is why we go help.I feel the same that it is time but hard to let go because she has had a hard sad life.God bless your answers because my husband is suffering and I do not want him to have his brothers.

Family members that have been abused in any way from their parents/stepparents should not be required to care for them as they age. They have suffered enough and don't need/deserve any more abuse.
Your mother and stepfather have made their beds and now they will have to lie in them. The fact that you and your husband have stepped up to help them I find quite interesting. Have you asked yourselves why?
So just because you guys have stepped up, doesn't mean that the rest of the family should. Just like you have your reasons for helping, they have theirs for not.(and I'm personally with them)
If the situation is now getting to be too much, then it's time to place them both in the appropriates facilities. And if needed they can always apply for Medicaid to help them.
Good luck in getting them both placed ASAP.

This is the 2nd post bubba12345 has up here at the same time:

Bubba12345
Asked 32 minutes ago
My husband and his five brothers had such so sad situation.While pregnant with her 6th child her husband died of a heart attack at age 38.


She remarried her abused and child abuser after 5 years. They both are 90 and 87 They have mobility and dementia. Do not drive shop or pay bills.My husband's brothers do not help and have been so far removed from the situation that they resent even the smallest cry for help.My husband lately has been diagnosed with high np and is very resentful of his family. I am so worried

I can honestly say that personally I would have a very hard time caring for someone that had abused me, or another member of the family.
And since mom probably did nothing to stop the abuse even though she herself was abused it might be difficult to come to terms with that as well.
For my own mental health I would have to place both in appropriate care facility Memory Care for one with dementia and or Skilled Nursing if that is needed.
I respect that you are doing what I probably could not do.
I would suspect other members of the family may feel the same and if this is getting to be more than you can handle look into either hired caregivers (paid for by parents) or MC or SNF.

Find a good NH or facility for them. If they do not have finances for facility get them qualified for Medicaid