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Roads are being fixed, so can't drive today.
Car is in the shop.
It's raining right now. Maybe later.
I'm sick today.
We recycle the excuses as she doesn't remember hearing them before. So each time is the first time for her.
But she wouldn't really get the seriousness of it (to be fair, she would have poo - poo'd the seriousness LONG before the dementia too, she just doesn't care -if she wants to go to town, then she wants it now, all else be darned!)
So I just told her "You can't go to town for awhile. There is a virus going around and it's dangerous - they are saying anyone over the age of 60 has to stay home" She's 83 ;) She doesn't drive, I'm the only car she can get in and out of -- so if I don't take her, *hopefully* that means she stays home.
I didn't say "Because you are old" she would say "No I'm Not"
I didn't say "It's not safe" she'd say "I'll be fine"
I didn't say "We don't want you to go" she'd say "I don't care"
I blamed it on THEY . . . those mysterious folks in charge :) Not me, not her, not family!
I'm just hoping she doesn't go across the road and try to get the neighbor to take her. She got a dividend check in the mail this week, and it's burning a hole in her pocket. Just thinks she has to go to town RIGHT NOW and get that baby cashed *sigh*
Side bar on new facility hunt: I requested nursing notes from previous place as we had been turned down at 2 places during Jan-Feb-I suspected something in the facility info was causing a road block for us getting out of there. Discovered nursing had included partial-one sided-notes of a phone conversation about a medication change-only including what nurse says I said to her. Some was true some was not-nurse said I yelled at her and told her the facility is a dump. I never yelled at anyone there ever and would have never told them out loud the place really is a dump and the staff are negligent nearly every day. -I did not want to create a situation where they would do even less than nothing for my sister. This nurse had an attitude with the dr. office about med change also. Nurse was bad news when I was not compliant with their demands to change meds-and created a reason for potential places to refuse us when she portrayed me as "the problem in this equation". Also discovered past community did not provide correct/current medication list to the new place so now we are trying to sort that out now on top of everything else. I did send an email to past facility admin about the phone call the same day-yes I did cut off the woman because I did not want to get irritated and angry with her about the way she was talking to me-I said I have to go now-click.
I am in Australia, the arrival of full on pandemic is still about 2 weeks away at the current trajectory. Most facilities are only in partial lockdown but where my mother is resident the owners jumped the gun last Tuesday and put the place into protective lockdown a week ago. I accept that my visit last week may be the last time I see her, or even just the last time she saw a familiar face. It is my fear that she will feel abandoned, something she has dreaded all her life, the legacy of a dysfunctional family where her father left his wife and 6 children to fend for themselves in the aftermath of the Depression.
We are all in this crisis together. We are all moving mountains as we care for our elders. We are alreadt strong so we WILL prevail.