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My mom is almost 90 and physically pretty healthy, but she complains about everything. She said she wishes she could die. This has been going on for 3 years. I try to remain positive because that is who I am. She hates everything but me (I think). I am an only child and visit her every other day. Old age is not kind to her body that bruises so easily, her teeth, which she has take care of, are now breaking off or falling out. She is lonely and outlived her friends that she use to talk to. Her friends now are two people that are in their 50s that are so kind to talk with her everyday. She has improved some; two years ago, she just stayed in the bed. Now she gets up and walks the floor all day and looks out the window seeing everyone else enjoying their lives. She won't take medication and her doctor really doesn't want her to because of elderly are prone to fall. She has no hobbies, nothing to occupy her mind except things she doesn't like. She hates the vacant lot that has a lot of trees on it that sheds into her yard. Stuff like that. Is there anybody out there in Aging Care land going through this as well?
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I'm an only child too; my mother is almost 95 years old and I can honestly not recall hearing her ever say one nice thing about anything in my entire 64 years of life. She hates everyone; the family, her so-called friends who are all PITAs, my father who was her nemesis for 68 years and never did enough for her, her own mother who she detested, and on and on. Now she lives in Memory Care Assisted Living and suffers from advanced dementia but come to think of it, she nearly gave me a stroke yesterday b/c she said her caregiver is 'so wonderful' to her. But I think that was more of a dig at ME than a compliment towards her CG, since she also said the girl was 'like a daughter to her.' Every word out of her mouth is negative, she's never had hobbies, and God forbid I suggest one to her, oh no, she 'doesn't believe' in hobbies, exercise, or anything positive or uplifting.

In fact, on one of our recent visits, my husband asked her to tell him ONE thing she was grateful for. One single thing. She thought about it, scratched her head, did some hemming & hawing, and could not come up with ONE thing she was grateful for. After nearly 95 years of life on Earth, various nice houses she's lived in, a huge wardrobe of great clothes, 2 grandchildren and a great-grandson, many exotic cruises, and on and on, not ONE thing could she think of to be grateful for. That about summarizes my mother. And probably yours too.

Long ago, I decided to stop trying to make her happy. It's an exercise in futility. I quit trying to fix problems she didn't want solutions for. She wants to be miserable. She wants to complain. She wants to be The Victim and The Poor Soul, so have at it mother. It's not my job (or your job) to make our mother's happy because it's an inside job. If nothing has made them happy after 9+ decades, nothing is going to. And there ain't no Happy Pill on earth gonna do it either.

My mother also says she 'wants to die' on a regular basis, which couldn't be further from the truth. It's just a ploy to garner sympathy from us, the only children who should be and could be doing more for them but aren't. I know the drill, I've been hearing it for decades now. About how she wants to 'jump out the window' or 'run out into traffic' to end her life, but it's all nonsense. I was recently called 'cold' for saying things like this, but hey, I call it as I see it. After being the victim of such a difficult mother for such a long time, I am paying my experiences forward for those who are suffering now. If my words can help YOU, then I'm happy and I've done a good thing. We are the ones who have to harden OUR hearts to all the misery THEY dole out, otherwise, we're in the psychiatrist's chair & eating anti-depressants like Tic-Tac, let's face it. Please cut back on your visits a bit if you find yourself getting depressed as a result of all the negativity, ok?

Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.
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pjgood Oct 2021
Thank you!!! You are describing my mother!! I appreciate you sharing your experiences to help others!!
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As they say, getting old is not for the fainthearted. It's no picnic, it's depressing, and it's never going to go away. Watching your body betray you with wrinkles, ailments, bruising, and all the other problems is insulting and it's the real confirmation that we indeed not immortal. In short, it's seriously depressing.

So, the thing to do is try to make the most of the time we do have left. Have you thought of trying to get her to write down or record memories of her life? There are lots of sources from prompts to start discussions, like "who was your favorite teacher" which leads to discussions about school days, or "what kind of house did you live in" which starts discussions of home.

It's a great way to both fill up the lonely hours but also a way to connect, to educate the next generation, and to perhaps bring back memories of happier times when everything worked better and cares were fewer.
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onlychild55 Oct 2021
Your first paragraph sums it up. Thank you. Since I am an only child and have no children, there is really no one to have that. Even though she suffers from depression and anxiety, she physically has alot of energy. She just doesn't have anything to do with that energy. Thanks again for your response.
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I'm 73, so while I'm not as old as your mom, I am "old". Here is my suggestion:

Cannabis is now legal in many states, and in other states a medical marijuana card can be obtained.

You mom doesn't need to smoke a joint to get the wonderful, mellowing benefits of Cannabis. I use a tincture, and it helps me tremendously with mood. Talk to a sympathetic doctor and do some research.
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onlychild55 Oct 2021
Cool! Thanks for the suggesstion.
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Only child here! I had a great relationship with my parents...then they retired & bought the house three doors down from me. My mom became extremely negative upon turning 70. She literally went from jogging & eating healthy to sitting on the couch drinking wine all day and complaining about her life, saying she would just rather die. That was 9 years ago. She never snapped out of it. On her 75th birthday I went over there to ask my parents to go out to dinner with us for her birthday and she was flailing around in bed yelling that "75 was nothing to be proud of". Sigh...turns out that was our last chance as a family because dad had to be admitted to memory care about two months later. Oh, and the reason for that: she told me if I did not get him out of her house immediately, she was either going to commit suicide or move to a hotel and leave him there to fend for himself (at that point he was forgetful and needed oversight but was still "himself" mostly and managable).

So, it's been a depressing roller coaster of negativity and verbal abuse for a decade. After a long hospital stay and 60 days in skilled nursing, I was able to move her into an assisted living facility late last year. But, I am still stuck dealing with her and now the probability that she will outlive her money. She demanded a cell phone for months and I finally caved and bought her one of those Jitterbug type phones. I have her ringtone set to "silent" as I seriously suffer from PTSD when she calls, after a decade of being at her back & call for every whim and constant drama and emergencies.

I am 54 and run a small business. I work 6 full days a week. As an only, I am very alone in this world and I cannot afford to sacrifice my financial future and health for her. Honestly I have felt I was fighting for my own life at various times throughout this journey. When I was 50, mom actually told me she did not know how I could continue to live my life, with theirs crumbling in the manner that it was. She has told me I "owe" her for raising me. I fell that I have been manipulated and used, to some extent, because of my lonely-only status. As my parents unraveled there were two of them, fighting with each other constantly, and one of me receiving multiple calls per day to leave my work and solve their problems.

My mom has done nothing since age 70 except sit around and lament that her life has been much harder than most people's lives. She has run off the few friends she had. No hobbies, hates TV, hates music. She flat out told me that she would no longer do anything for me, period, and that she now expected everything to be done for her.

Sorry for the long rant. An only child with a negative, nasty mom is, sadly, my status in life now. Never expected it to be this way. I wish I would have moved far away from them when we were all young, but what do you do with two old parents that live almost next door? I got sucked into the vortex and I am still here....
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onlychild55 Oct 2021
Wow; I'm glad you spilled your beans. Thank you. It is a need that only children need; someone else going through this. My father died over 16 years ago. My mother has always been tough on me. Wanted me to be perfect, and that is what I grew up with. My normal. In my dad's eyes, I could do no wrong, and in hers, I couldn't do anything right. When I was born, she had Post Partum depression that landed her in the hospital. Back then, they did treatments probably barbaric in today's world. Unfortunately, I was told by her dumb sister, that it was a shame I wasn't wanted. She did want me; she was just sick. Before they got her some help, I was told that she would go to my baby bed and try to make me cry. Looking back, I've cried alot because of her. She loves me and I know she does; I'm learning that she didn't love herself. When this started 3 years ago, I thought I was going to literally lose my mind. I would through fits in front of her. I brought up all this "stuff" of my she acted the way she did. She was constantly begging to move in the house with my husband and I. I would literally beat the phone on my head to get her to stop, and it wouldn't phase her. She is a good woman who has something broken. Several of her nephews have an emotional problem. She has always been high strung and what ever came to her mind, shot out of her mouth. I am such a positive minded person. When she complains about something, like her leaves in the yard, I tell her well at least you have eyes to see. She and my dad were always very generous to me; I never needed a thing (materialistically). There were neither affectionate, but I new that loved me, because I was rewarded. I think that is why I reward myself alot (shopping); lol. Anyway, sorry for the dissertation, and thanks for being a sounding board.
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This morning I was having a cup of coffee on my DH aunts back porch. I was talking to a favorite niece on the phone. My voice carries. So when the bathing aide who came to tend to DH aunt, 95 tomorrow, heard my voice she came to report that aunt told her to “get out of my house. I don’t need you”
The aide happens to be aunts favorite temp. Her regular has been off a month. But the aide has about had it with DH aunt talking so ugly. She is young. Not 30, very pretty little tiny thing. I asked her if she was able to change her. She said “No. I left”. I told her the secret was to make her laugh. I suggested she go back in and say in her best Jack Nicholson voice “Im Baack”
A few minutes later I went by aunts door and listened in to see if I was needed. They were talking about aunts birthday tomorrow. The aid had asked her how old she would be tomorrow. “88 said aunt, No I think 89 tomorrow”.
So my suggestion is if you are going to visit, try to make it count. You, yourself have fun with it. Try to make her laugh.
Do something silly. If she won’t laugh, moon her and be on your way.
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I am so sorry you are going through this, but also relieved to see so many people relating to your story. I feel your pain and I am grateful that we have this safe place to vent and find support. I have been struggling with this kind of behavior with my 92 year old mother for 5 years. I left my job, lost friends, and suffered unrepairable damage to relationships with my siblings. My mom has had two hospital stays, was twice "graduated" out of hospice, recovered from a broken hip and wrist, and now walks around like nothing happened, healthier than I am, demanding, abusive, nasty and always with the maybe I should just kill myself. It is an awful disease that hurts so many people and tears families apart. Unless you have experienced it, you can't know just how hard it is. I have read the statics about patients outliving their caregivers, about how this can go on for many years, and about people living well into their ninties and beyond. I imagine this problem will only grow as baby boomers struggle to care for their parents. I have no answers. Just letting you know you are not alone. Try your best to take care of yourself and also to offer your support to others on this site. It is so important. Hugs.
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onlychild55 Oct 2021
Thank you so much for your kind words.
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A few months ago my mother was assessed as having advanced dementia. She is now in respite, waiting for a LTC room as I couldn’t handle her 24/7 demands and she aggressively fought having any help but me. My point: refusing to socialize, refusing to leave her home, ignoring all hobbies and interests, plus worsening negativity (around me) started years ago. Extended family said she sounded happy and engaged on the phone. We tried to get her out and keep her involved with family and friends with very little success. Now she is bitter that *I* held her hostage at home as that can surely be the only reason she wasn’t out and about. Questions are prying and games are stupid. I hoped others in the respite home would fulfill her social needs. No - she refuses to engage with them. (yes, she’s been on mood meds for years, which tempered her anger and suspicion a bit) It’s such a frustrating, self-sabotaging cycle, so difficult to watch.
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luaneZ Oct 2021
My mom's experience echoes yours. All is apparently my fault and I won't let her leave. I'm alone with her 36 hrs a week. I've hired 3 others to cover when I'm working full time at my home and caring for my own family. She calls me relentlessly when I'm not there to let me know how I have failed her and have made her a prisoner. I expect she could easily have another 3-5 yrs as she's physically very healthy but the dementia experience is already more than I can handle most days. Oh...I forgot that I'm also now a thief who has robbed her of thousands. I have to say that I no longer experience her as my mom. I love her but I also wish her wish. She just wants Jesus to come for her.
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Oh my dear yes!!!

My 91 year old mom is the same. Everything is negative with her. That had always been her personality, now it’s just worse. She’s in rehab at the moment for a fall that led to a compression fracture of her L2 vertebrae. A non-invasive surgery helped.

She texted me my “orders for the day” this morning, and let me know she had 1 pair of soiled panties in the hamper.

Oh, and they brought her too much breakfast….well gosh shame on them.

It’s a shame really that she makes herself so miserable. Never mind that I’m having a joint transplant next week, and trying my best to stay calm.

I think she loves me (sometimes.)

Sad 😔.
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onlychild55 Oct 2021
I feel ya; when this starting happening about 3 years ago, and I didn't understand. I would tell her that I don't think she loves me. She does, but never knew how to really show it, being a sweet, loving and caring mom. She was a doer and wanted everything perfect. Oh my.
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I’m dealing with the same things with my Mom. I call her every day and visit her every other day. She mostly sits in her chair with the TV watching her. I bought some beautiful white mums and sat them out on the porch about a month ago. To my surprise, she was going outside to water them until they started to wilt. Sad that they only lasted about a month. That was actually giving her something to do. I’ve given her an iPad Mini and a new iPhone and she never uses them. She basically waits for me to bring her food and necessities and we sit and quietly watch TV. Occasionally, she’ll laugh or joke, but mostly she is quiet. This happens when she is alone and not willing to go anywhere. I attempted to take her to doctor appts. (Both Geriatric for depression and PCP) and she refused to go. This year I’m going to try the Vit D. and see if that helps. It’s usually this time of the year until Spring that she gets really bad and ends up in the hospital for not drinking or eating due to depression. Good luck and stay the course! I pray a lot to manage my stress and anxiety.
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onlychild55 Oct 2021
You sound so much like me. I pray ALOT too. It is hard. Thanks for your response.
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What's irritating to me is the attitude that old age is so hard and such a terrible burden to endure, etc. And how much sympathy we should have for the poor souls who are old and full of aches and pains. Guess what? There are young people battling horrible diseases and cancers that keep them in pain 24/7 but manage to maintain a cheerful outlook on life. They may not live to see 50 but don't spend their time ruining their family members lives or begging for attention and sympathy from them. Life is a gift and every day we have on Earth is a day to celebrate, not to feel entitled to bring someone else down because we are old or in a bad mood or hurting!

Plenty of US are hurting too, but that doesn't stop our mother's from expecting us to keep doing for THEM, now does it?

This entitlement issue that some elders have that their children need to keep them entertained and happy all day while they gripe and complain is BS. They wear us out and play the guilt card on us as though we've earned it somehow! We haven't. My uncle is almost 101, with one arm, pancreatic cancer, a widow with no children who enjoys his old age in Assisted Living without burdening his nieces and nephews with his complaining. He is a gentleman who everyone loves visiting instead of a big pain in the butt who everyone avoids like the plague. He's aged with grace as MANY seniors have chosen to do. Yet here we are, making excuses for why it's ok for our mother's to be acting like spoiled brats every day!!

Stop enabling your loved ones and use some tough love once in awhile. Say No, I can't possibly do that for you mother, I'm way too busy. Tell her you don't appreciate being treated like crap and won't stand for it anymore. Tell her you can't help her if she refuses to budge off of the sofa or away from the tv set. Then stay away for awhile so she has time to feel what it's like to not have you at her beck and call.
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onlychild55 Oct 2021
thank you for your response
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