How do you advocate for an abused senior relative that will not report or acknowledge that her son is abusing her?

Unfortunately its called enabling. Parents have been taking care of their adult children for years, not realizing how it will affect them later. When I thought people where taking advantage of my mother, I called adult protective services and was told was it a bad decision yes, abuse no.

Has the family confronted this individual? Sounds like a time for intervention. Why don't you have a family meeting with mom, explain how this is hurting her. You may need a mediator or another party to help out. Talk to a geriatric care manager - they know of many resources and services that can help you mom. Someone needs to intervene to stop this or it will continue.

As an abuse survivor myself, I can tell you exactly why this victim won't acknowledge she's being abused is because she's scared! She's scared the abuse will intensify, she scared of retaliation which is what abusers will do when the victim snitches. I live through abuse myself, so I know what's going on over there just from your description. What you need to do is put a stop on her bank account if you can get your name on it or you need to move her money. What I would do right now is call Social Security because she's most likely getting benefits. Report the incident as fraud and tell them what else is going on, and definitely bring up the fraud first and foremost before anything else. If he is wrongfully using her Medicaid or other insurance, call the provider and report fraud there as well and even any food stamps she may be getting, he's most likely misusing any food stamps and you need to report fraud on her food stamps if she gets them. You need to put fraud alerts on everything she's getting from the government because they will also be able to prosecute the thief taking advantage of the elder, and they will come down on him real hard. The government is very serious about cracking down on fraud and catching anyone stealing their money that's going to their recipients who are rightfully entitled to that money.

You really need to call the APS as mentioned here and if they don't act right away, you need to call the cops and make police reports. Someone needs to get guardianship of the abused victim and someone needs to get a lawyer and get all that money back. The lawyer can put liens on the bank account you really need to call the APS as mentioned here and if they don't act right away, you need to call the cops and make police reports. Someone needs to get guardianship of the abused victim and someone needs to get a lawyer and get all that money back. The lawyer can put liens on the bank account and other assets such as a home or car. They can also stop the sale of a home that maybe on the market. Definitely get an elder care lawyer involved right away.

What you need to do is have the abuser arrested first and foremost. Once he's gone out of the house, take your elder to the ER and admitted her to the hospital. Tell the hospital staff what has been going on and why you brought her there. You can then get the hospital in vault and they can get the ball rolling on her behalf. Anytime you have an abused elder admitted to the hospital or even brought to the ER, the staff are trained to get the right people involved

Send your husband over there to beat up his brother.

You might call adult protective services

Your husband's father, (your fil) and your Mil (your husband's mother), same abuser? How is it that Fil lost his home to abuser? Where is he now? Why didn't her husband report the abuse? Not really understanding your story as written, can you explain? Whose son (your Bil) is the abuser?

Why didn't your husband step up as this was happening to (whom?),,I have lost track....

There have been successes when all the family joins forces....and the truth is exposed. Are there other siblings that would help?

Does your mil have dementia? Can she live alone? Maybe your husband should visit her, and see if she's ok. If she doesn't want her son there you all need to get together, surround her with a protective force. I hate to think she is being bullied and ripped off.

The alleged victim has to speak up to confirm the abuse to authorities.
Have you considered Mother wants the dysfunctional bond to continue?

One might say to her, report it to authorities yourself, here's the number.

So very sorry for your plight.

Adding that 'Don't Ask' is correct, the victim won't speak up because of fear, so maybe removing her to a safe place first.

How about recording her complaints for the lawyer to hear, and the lawyer can interview her to confirm she wants relief from the abuse?

Where I live in CA, the elder doesn't have to agree to anything, APS just very skillfully and kindly interviews her. At least in our case, the person sent has been a godsend. Reading this 2nd report, a police report may be in your future. This is wrong. She needs help. Has she ever considered a reverse mortgage (after the bad guy can't get to that money!)
Good luck, she needs your help. Maggie

Hi, yes it is a confusing story. The parents divorced when the children were grown and lived apart. There are 2 sons, my husband and the abuser. Their Father got brain cancer about 12yrs ago. My brother in law abused him until he lost his home and went into hospice care. My husband tried to intervene but his Father wanted to "help his troubled son", and as long as he was competent it was his choice to remain in the situation. By the time my husband could help him (after his Dad was declared unfit to make decisions for himself), he had already lost his home and had his heart broken. Once the Father died the abuser moved on to his Mother. First he convinced her to give him his inheritance early so she took out a 2nd mortgage as her rural cottage is her only asset. He knew she would be in poverty trying to make mortgage payments on her modest pension. Once that $ was gone, he started borrowing small amounts from her constantly, getting her to go to the bank and request loans until they refused to allow it, take out credit cards, make her run a home based business and give him the proceeds, and when all that isn't enough he moves in with her for months or years at a time and makes her support him entirely. If and when he gets sporadic employment, he keeps the $ for himself. He will literally talk her out of her food money for cigarettes and beer and send her to call us crying. Again, we have reported this twice and the most recent time I was told "It's not illegal to choose to be stupid". At this point I am just hoping to learn from the experiences of others. We are hoping she will decide to grant us power of attorney so that we can protect what she has left to provide for herself.

Contact an elder abuse advocacy organisation. Not sure what there is in the US (where I presume you are) but here in Ireland we have Age Action and SAGE. They can arrange for a lawyer, doctor, home-care service, etc. Unfortunately, if your mother-in-law is unwilling to make a statement against her son, there is nothing even these people can do, but it's a start and at least they will be aware of her situation. Also make others in the community aware of her plight. Is there a social club for retired people in the area, or a citizens' advice centre? If she is a member of a religious congregation, ask the priest / pastor to visit her. Encourage her to keep in touch with neighbours and friends. If she has a bank account or similar, let the bank manager know; bank managers are trained to spot signs of elder abuse. And contact an attorney specialising in elder abuse. If you can't afford one, see if there is a free legal aid service - try the local law school and you might find young attorneys willing to work pro bono. Hope this helps.