Yes, they may be charming, fun, many times very attractive and wonderful to be around so long as everything goes their way. We all probably have fabulous childhood memories that are "crazy making" because even witnessing their Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde like behavior it is difficult to reconcile this charming fun person with the angry controlling adult baby with no boundaries who will do anything including destroying her own child for her comfort, satisfaction and continued narcissistic supply.
The ravenous appetite of a NA is never satisfied. Their breach of trust to get their way, to control your every move, their betrayals, lack of conscience is beyond belief to those who have not lived the reality. Oh, they can be sweet as pie on the short term to reel you in as she goes in for the kill one more time.
The stress of dealing with an emotionally intolerable elderly narcissist who expects to have her every need and want met immediately no matter what you are doing or have planned, especially when she betrayed her maternal obligations and blamed and demeaned you & your feelings for a lifetime, inflicting extreme psychological stress and pain and her curtain call is to trick, guilt..... basically do whatever it takes to get you to agree to or get stuck in the scapegoat role and primary caregiver. Is it their plan all along, and the reason children of narcissists aren't a victim of infanticide.