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My mom passed away on January 11. I received her death certificate saying she died at midnight. I received the call 0024 that she was passing. One of my mom's last wishes was that she did not pass with strangers. When I question the time difference I received a letter. It stated it was their policy to notify after the death since It was too tramatic for family members to be there. Excuse me where is my rights? My mom last wishes? They were so worried about trauma lol when the furenal home came to pick up the body I was ask to step out of the room. No one was there I waited in the hallway and what seem hours I walked back into the room only to see them zip the body bag over her face. That was my last memory of her as I left the hospital. They have the nerve to tell me they care. Everyone please make sure the hospital does not have such stupid policy in place.

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She was in an acute care hospital in a telemetry unit. They knew the moment she had problems. I do not understand the reason why they waited so I asked. Too tramatic was the answer. I urge everyone to check hospital policies.
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Betty; I'm just so sorry for your loss and for your upset over what happened. What occurs to me is that if she was on a telemetry unit, they were actively trying to save her. Sometimes in those rushed emergency moments, the last thing that staff is thinking about is calling family.

Yes, we should all check with our loved one's hospital's policy on this. Thank you for telling your mom's story. I'm sure it will help others.
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Betty, I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot imagine your shock. I would think that hospitals would have called sooner. Though a hospital is not 24/7 care, through the night they are only checked every few hours. Perhaps they did not know how close she was? Was the death unexpected? They may have the policy because it can be traumatic, I imagine. And they have many patients to watch over. I am not trying to justify you not being called, just throwing some thoughts out there. Others that know more than me will chime in.

Find grief support for yourself.
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Betty, I am so sorry it didn't go the way you wanted. I don't know anything about hospital policies. I just know that the hospice nurse was in my father's room, talked to him, and thought to herself that he would live about another week. When she came back in half an hour, he was gone. Time of death is so hard to predict.

It is just my opinion, but I think that before most people die, they lapse into a sleep, or maybe even a coma, and really are not aware of who is there. I think that your mother went to sleep, not knowing that the end was near. You suffered because you weren't there, but - just my opinion - I don't think it made any difference to her. I hope that idea will comfort you, to think that she wasn't afraid at all.

I am so sorry that you lost your mother. I hope you can focus more on how you loved her, and how lucky you were to have her for a mother. Maybe writing a biography of her life would bring you comfort.
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