Parent got admitted into a rehab facility for a hip fall. At some point my mother started to lose her mind, this time it seems more permanent. I went to visit her, but she does not to pay the place. She doesnt want me to have power of attorney because she does not want me to have access to any of her personal belongings. Last time I tried helping her she accused me of stealing. Me logging into her bank account and doing something illegal to help her is not an option. Last time I helped her move into my house (TN), she got aggressive and put my daughter in danger on different occasions. I got her into a nursing facility close to me, but she got herself out and moved back to Florida. I don’t have power of attorney, only health proxy. The facility/ hospital is asking for payment. Right now she is considered incompetent. She is alone in a hospital for an eye infection. The hospital can’t keep her and the place where she was at will not take her back for non payment. I can’t pick her up because I don’t have any PTO. So I can’t help her, she can’t go back home because they have a lien on her home but she needs a nurse 24/7. She has no car. My husband works mornings I work nights. I have a toddler so we can’t really care for her with all the health complications and dialysis she has going on. I have a brother that lives closer to my mom but he refused to help in any way. I had a “friend” that helped me out with my mom but she went to the bank and had my mom put her as a co-signer so we could make payments to the facility until I get power of attorney, but I don't feel she is trustworthy and she will no longer help since I removed her as an authorized user for the facility. Now the hospital is wanting to report her to the state and claim my mother was abandoned. Would I get in trouble since my state have a filial law? There isn't anything I can do to help that won’t affect my family?
Previous law: As established by Tennessee Code Annotated § 71-5-115, the state was previously authorized to seek reimbursement for medical assistance from responsible parties like relatives.
Repealed in 2019: The Tennessee General Assembly passed legislation (HB1659) that amended § 71-5-115 by deleting the section and substituting a new one. The updated law explicitly prohibits the department from requiring or permitting "responsible parties of a recipient of medical assistance to supplement or reimburse the department for any benefit or benefits rendered to the recipient".
Effective immediately: The act went into effect immediately upon becoming law, which occurred in 2019.
Current law protects a recipient's relatives from being held financially responsible for reimbursing the state for medical assistance benefits the recipient received. The state's recovery efforts are limited to other avenues, such as subrogation rights against third-party payments (like insurance settlements).
The above is the legal code for filial responsibility in TN. Florida has no filial responsibility laws. So, to an untrained legal eye (ie. NOT a lawyer) it looks as though this is a "bluff" by the facility in TN to try and recoup some of their costs. Also, it seems to me that the legislation only applies if the person needing care is being paid for out of state funds (like Medicaid), and the previous recovery was more of a MERP situation. It doesn't seem to me, by the wording, that this applies to someone who private pays and then reneges on the payment.
However - if you are really concerned, it might be worth the expense of finding a qualified elder attorney in you state - one who is familiar with filial responsibilities - and speak to them about any liability you might have, just to set your mind at ease. That's what I would consider doing, were I in your shoes.
In the meantime, please DO NOT offer to pay mom's bills to ANYone, be it nursing home, electric company, credit cards, etc! Once they can get you to agree, it WILL become your responsibility, and they WILL be able to hold you legally liable. Just keep repeating to anyone who might call you that you have no authority over your mom's finances, and no say in her medical treatment. If they become too insistent, then just stop answering the phone. They won't be able to pass a judgement against you without your being notified by some legal entity, giving you a chance to plead your case in court. But I highly doubt it will come to that.
Good luck.
Through no fault of your own - you can't get involved legally because you don't have the legal authority. She refused to give it to you. Which by default puts her at the mercy of the powers that be when the time comes. Even if you were able to step in and bring her to your home...you would STILL have no legal authority to do anything to help her really....and she has been declared incompetent, so she can't make that decision now to change things.
But more importantly - you ARE NOT able to bring her to your home. You have far more pressing responsibilities to attend to. And frankly, it sounds like this would not be a safe situation for your family. This all sounds like utter chaos to me and you don't want to get more involved in it if you can help it.
Filial laws- at least from my understanding - and my "Google" knowledge (read: this is NOT legal advice of any kind) are rarely enforced. The times I have seen cited are usually where an adult child has benefitted from their parent's funds substantially - and made it impossible for the parent to pay for their own care, so the state goes after the person who benefitted substantially (similar to the Medicaid lookback period). Medicaid was supposedly created in part to eliminate the need for families to shoulder the burden of care or funding care.
You might benefit from checking with an elder care lawyer - simply because you don't have the legal authority to make decisions so you can't advocate legally in any way really that will be helpful for her. So I would question whether they could deem it "abandonment" if you legally can't do anything. But that would be better referred to someone who knows the laws.
IMO, since Mom will not allow you to help her, she can become a Ward of the State. The Court will assign a guardian and that person will take over Moms care.
Don't worry about filial laws. They rarely are used. The ability for family to pay is taken in consideration. They will not put financial strain on them.
https://www.agingcare.com/questions/what-to-do-next-no-poa-no-help-from-family-at-all-and-i-cant-care-for-my-mother-495216.htm