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She has slight dementia and diabetic. What are her rights to stay at home as the thought of being in a nursing home is really upseting her the doctors say she will not manage her dietbeties.

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Blythe-if your aunt is still capable of making her own decisions, there is nothing anyone can do to force her into a SNF (skilled nursing facility). However, if her dementia has progressed enough that she makes questionable decisions/judgments, it would be best to either place her in a SNF, a family member who could care for her or hire 24/7 in home care. Not easy decisions, I know nor are they cheap. Your aunt can't stay in a hospital if there is nothing medically they can do for her. Contact your local Area Agency on Aging office and ask for available resources in your area. If your aunt is end stage-and only a Dr. can determine that, then hospice would be a good thing. They could provide some extra support.
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Have you talked to the discharge nurse and social worker at the hospital? If your Aunt is able to be in her own home, these folks will see that she has what is needed for her care and can recommend in home service providers. Was she able to take care of herself prior to hospitalization? A lot depends on reason for being in the hospital and her physical condition now.

Perhaps NH is really for temporary rehab to get the diabetes under control. How involved are you willing to be in 24/7 caregiving?
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my opinion of NH so far ;
very impressive program for health and well being .
the best option for most of the people there .
jail food.
jail.
not home .
whatever . i just dont care for structured environments and routine .
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Can she afford someone like an LPN to come in and help with meds? Maybe a CNA for personal hygiene? Perhaps a live in companion could help out?
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Someone said in a previous answer, that at the nursing home, "all the folks there are strangers to him or her." I hate to point this out, but with dementia, eventually, you will be a stranger to mom too. I'd rather for mom to get to know the other people she will be living with first, so she can come to recognize them some before she loses all memory skill!
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As an RN working in home care, I see alot elderly clients living in their own homes. Every case is different. In this case, are there family members who can assist? Does your aunt have $$ to pay for a caregiver? Does she have capacity? With dementia, things don't get better but it is a proven fact that people age better in their own homes. All these factors and others need to be looked at to make the best decision.
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As an RN working in home care, I see alot elderly clients living in their own homes. Every case is different. In this case, are there family members who can assist? Does your aunt have $$ to pay for a caregiver? Does she have capacity? With dementia, things don't get better but it is a proven fact that people age better in their own homes. All these factors and others need to be looked at to make the best decision.
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I went through this with my mother. She was becoming combative with my dad so we put her in nursing care. They left her in the bed, never bathed her, put water across the room (she forgot she could walk)...she lasted 3 weeks. I would never do this again. Try to hire a sitter to be with her when you cannot be there. It is a better alternative.
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Hi, Valen. I can't help commenting on your post that's kind of cynical. Mom spent 2-1/2 months in a nursing home. I just got her back 3 weeks ago. The care she got surprised me very much.

Every "touch" she got from staff (and there were many every day) was respectful, kind, thoughtful, and warm. Every touch! I was there for a few hours a day, and I saw the same treatment of everyone there. I was amazed, actually.

Mom is wheelchair bound; can't get out of bed alone or go to the bathroom by herself. It took at least one aid; if she was weak, it might take two. Never saw one complaint. Warm, friendly staff at every turn.

They had programs at least twice a week. Three floors - three opportunities for programs. They'd have solo singers, dancers, bands, choirs, magic shows. And the staff rounded up every single patient who wasn't otherwise involved and made sure they attended. Their "Memory Floor" had eight different activities every day -- a craft, a program, exercise, yada yada yada.

Their food was decent, though bland. (No surprise there.) As the weather got nicer, I saw them stop by a patient as they passed and ask if they'd like to sit outside on the patio...saw them help start a patient eating their food if they were hesitant...saw them actually feed them if they weren't able to feed themselves. Patient, kind, "Mama" this - "Mama" that. Made my heart warm, actually.

Here at my home? Mom sits in a chair and watches TV. Oh, of COURSE, there are other things, but not stimulating like the nursing home. Nowhere near. I enrolled her in an Adult Daycare Program once a week because I actually felt bad our house was so boring.

There's good and there's bad. I think that's the main point I'd like to make for others. They aren't all warehouses, believe me.
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Get a complete medical opinion from her primary doctor who has been treating her for years and knows her case. Then see if your aunt can be placed in a rehab to improve her diabetic health and let them interview her to see if she
can respond to them somewhat appropriately. I would check if she understands you when you are speaking to her. Can she answer questions (even if it is slow due to slow mental processing--which many elderly have)? Or has she lost touch with reality and would be a danger to herself.
If she has some mental functioning and the diabetic situation can be handled in her home, then properly supervised she should be able to be handled at home.

She probably can not be left alone at home, some type of caregiving 24/7 will be required. This type of care costs lots of money and time from primary family caregivers. But no she can likely be handled at home if the correct supports are there for her. Living alone is probably out of the question however, and that
may be why the hospital (who wants to unload her once through a medical crisis) is suggesting a nursing home placement. It frees up their hospital bed, not nice but welcome to the real world.
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One more thing I forgot to include in my earlier post: you cannot pay institutions to love and nurture your elderly family members. No matter how much a "good" nursing home costs, there will tend to be a status quo to the amount of daily attention your elder gets, and it often isn't much. And look at it from your elder's point of view when consigned to a nursing home: every day seems the same, all the folks there are strangers to him or her, and it can get depressing....quick.
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I suspect your Aunt has greater needs that neither of you may be aware of. I don't believe the hospital would recommend a nursing home unless absolutely required. It leaves them holding the bag. Also, at this time, you get the additional help of a hospital referral, which takes priority in placement I believe. I agree with Maggie.
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I agree with valencom, keep her home as long as possible. She will be happier, which is better for her. Have family stop in as much as possible, get a life alert necklace, and have either family or nurse help with diabetic meds. Do nursing home only as a last resort, when you can see that staying at home with dementia isn't going to work.
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If the issue to go to a nursing home is because she won't be able to manage her diabetes at home by herself, then she should be able to get a nurse to go to her house to help her manage her diabetes---check her blood sugars, give meds, diet education, etc. She doesn't have to be in a nursing home for that. You also left out a lot of information from your post---was the diabetes recently diagnosed; what are her abilities to care for herself in other ways, i.e. bathing, cooking, housekeeping, etc.; why was she admitted to the hospital, etc. Maybe the doctor wants her to go into a nursing home temporarily just to get the diabetes under control, not permanently. If all she needs is diabetes management, she doesn't need to go permanently into a nursing home for that.
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Well, nobody ever says, "Yay!! I'm going to a nursing home!"

In my opinion, the hospital can refuse to discharge her into her own care...and can involve social services to make sure she's kept safe. If these people believe keeping her safe involved custodial care or a full-time caregiver in her home? Then they can force the issue.

And also in my opinion, the question you're asking shouldn't be, "Wow, can they really force her?" It should be, "How can we convince our aunt it's in her best interests to do so?"

Who's going to make sure she gets her insulin three or four times a day if she lives alone? She has dementia. She's very likely to get confused about her insulin shots. That may be why she ended up in the hospital in the first place, yes?

Nobody wants to go into a nursing home. Sometimes, there are no other choices.
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If she needs help to manage her diabetes that can be made available to her in her own home. It is not cheap. And she needs to look ahead: realistically, how well does she manage life in general on her own?
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Okay, I've been down this road with my dad. Not all nursing homes would qualify, in my estimation, as "good care." They often leave people in their rooms all day, even in bed all day. They add to an elderly person's feeling of isolation and depression, and likely exacerbates the person's dementia. Only when my dad absolutely could not be cared for at home did we okay transfer from hospital to nursing home. Slight dementia? I would wait and keep her with familiar family a bit longer.
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Where does she want to go?

Persons with dementia are not good candidates for living alone, except perhaps in the very early stages, and with frequent in-home help.

"Slight dementia" is a little like "slight pregnancy" -- both conditions will definitely progress. Unfortunately dementia does not have a happy outcome.

I assume that you love her or at least care enough about her to be trying to look out for her interests. In that case the questions should be "what is best for her" rather than "what are her rights."

Can she afford 24/7 help in her home?

How old is she? Why was she in the hospital? Does she take insulin? Does she have other impairments?

Dementia is a horribly cruel disease.

If you want to provide some additional information about the situation you will probably get more specific answers.
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She certainly has the right to choose death over good care. She could ask for Hospice at home if she really wants it.
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