My Dad's currently in a nursing home rehabbing a broken hip. He went to a hosp. because of high WBC. I was shocked when I went to see my Father, who's 89, and noticed that his mustache was gone. Apparently someone went to all the rooms on that floor and shaved everyone who was in need. My Dad has had a mustache since the 60's. It was always well trimmed and did not resemble the stubble that was now growing on his face. I have read where people are concerned about how their loved ones, who have dementia or Alz's., can retain a sense of self during this difficult time of their life. Removing a part of their personality, character, or look, such as their mustache which they have worn throughout most of their life, doesn't coincide with their perseverance of self. I asked a nurse why this was done, if it was a safety factor, to which she said no it wasn't and it didn't happen on her shift, but she would ask the person who does the grooming and let me know. Well I went in the next day with pictures of my Dad to show that this person who's in a delirious state, is a human and not a Mr. Potato Head. Yes, they all saw the mustache but no one knew a thing. I then saw the nurse I saw the day before and she did tell me that she spoke to the groomer. His answer was he didn't do the shaving that day and wasn't sure who did. I hope my MIL had nothing to do with this. She has attempted hiding him from us. Is this something that is routine in hospitals? This man went through WW II and he would not have allowed this if he was of sound mind. I find this very disrespectful that this was done while he was helpless to deny it. I intend to find out why someone took it upon themselves to make the decision that my Dad no longer needed his mustache. People are buried with their mustaches intact. My Dad is not someones property to do with want they want when he is incapacitated.

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Pick your battles. I'm sure it was a surprise to see him looking so different from the way you are used to, but in the greater scheme of things it is not that big a deal, at least you know he is being groomed. When I sent my mom to a nursing home for a week for respite she came home with her lovely nails trimmed short and her hair combed straight as a poker, I hardly recognized her. It's unrealistic to expect staff to cater to individual grooming habits of every resident, especially with short term placements as they don't get a chance to know them.
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