Follow
Share

I will be looking for another place but they are asking me to pick him up.


My dad was admitted into a VA hospital due to his Dementia. His cycles are get worst and I am no longer able to provide the proper care. The hospital is ready to release him, but I need to have surgery in a few days due to neglecting my needs to care for him nearly a year, now. I can not bring him back to my house. I will be looking for another place but they are asking me to pick him up so what do I do? He is unable to come here, and I no longer have the space.

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Find Care & Housing
The hospital should have him admitted to a nursing home if you cannot take him (which you absolutely can't!). You need to be firm. I know it seems like you are abdicating responsibility or something by saying "no" but you aren't. You are helping him. Stay strong and don't bring him home. They will have to do something. Meanwhile, look for the home where you want him to be and get on their list.
Best wishes,
Carol
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

One of the best pieces of advice that I've received from this forum is to not let hospitals release patients to situations that will overburden caregivers. If my mother falls and lands in the hospital, I am not going to agree to take her home. She doesn't live with me, so I will stress that she lives alone and that I am NOT available to help her. I'm sure my mother will be begging not to go to rehab (because my father died in a rehab facility), saying that she wants home rehab, but I will stress to them that there will be NO help for her at home. I was put in a situation of being her post-injury caregiver two years ago, and I will NOT repeat that.

I am aware (thanks to this forum!) that the hospital staff will try to guilt me into agreeing to take my mother home (and my mother will probably chime in!), but I am going to stand firm. I will tell my mother to call my brothers to see if they can come down (they are states away) and take care of her in her condo, because I will not be able to do that.
Helpful Answer (8)
Report

You simply tell them you cannot take him. If you are POA, resign your POA.
Helpful Answer (4)
Report

Tell them it is not safe for him to go home with you. They are required to find a home for him. A home would have to accept him if coming from a hospital after a minimum number of days stay (I believe three days). This is not an option if you take him home and then try to get him into a home from there. If you get push back tell them you will contact the Joint Commission on Hospital Accreditation (The commission) to find out what your options are.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I agree with CTTN55--REFUSE to take your Dad home. A few years ago, my 89 year old Aunt fell and cracked her pelvic bone. 3 days later the hospital was going to release her. 1. She was unable to walk. 2. She lived alone. 3. My Mom's health would not allow her to take care of my Aunt. and 4. I am single and have to work to pay my bills. I just said NO. There isn't anyone to take care of her. She needs to go to rehab. I mean I had to get a little nasty to be heard but I was heard. They transferred her to rehab, where she remained 3 weeks. Don't let them steam roll you!
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

I am in the same situation my mother is still in hospital for Dimensia, I told the social worker about my permanent health issues , the other siblings never did there duty and disappeared now. I told the social worker about my health problems wich is permanent, she is now dealing with the matter. The hold up there is that my mother don't want to go to a home. I must look after her no matter
My illness. I just told the social worker to get her assisted living
While she is in hospital.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I agree,speak with social worker and his hospital case manager. In August,my husband had throat cancer surgery; the docs were ready to release him from icu to home. I had spent the week there observing,taking care classes. With the encouragement of those on this forum,i spoke to both and surgeons case coordinator. He spent a month in a rehab facility,came home to speech therapist and twice weekly nurse. Just on Jan 1 was he released from nurse service and hes doing great! Had i not pushed the issue at the hospital,he would have been released home. They are concerned with whether or not they are able to help more,free bed for th o se they can help. Please press the issue with staff or you might both end in need of care. Your road is a tough one as i care for MIL with rapid progressing dementia while we had two young children. Care for yourself first.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

As mentioned here, I strongly agree with telling the hospital you can no longer care for your dad and that you cannot bring him home. This would have more leverage if you happen to be having your surgery at the same hospital from which he is being released. If you can't care for him, then you just can't and he'll need to go elsewhere
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

With Medicare I believe you can appeal the discharge order but that only buys you about 48 more hours. Stand firm and insist that the discharge planners at the hospital (case manager or social worker) help you find an appropriate placement for your Dad. Good luck.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Pamstegma- why should the POA be resigned?
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

See All Answers
This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.