she has been sleeping for 2 days straight,without eating or being able to swallow so no meds have been given, her throat is swollen & she sounds very raspy, is this the best way to end her suffering? by givin her morphine?
Morphine has some beneficial side effects and does not have to be given in doses that make a person comatose. Hospice will be exceptionally conservative with its use. It can make breathing easier, relax the person in distress, and help them feel calm and at peace. It's very important for you to understand what place sedative medication has in the dying process, the doses used to provide comfort but not cause death.
Discuss options with the hospice nurse and social worker. The hospice social worker can help you process the questions you have about this stage of the game and anything that might be a worry to you after the fact.
I have seen people post here that they didn't want their loved one "doped up" at the end, and to that I ask why not? I want my family to do whatever it takes to make sure I am not suffering before and during dying. If they don't know that I love them by then, that's my fault. I know they love me, so I don't need any big deathbed theatrics or confessions. If I'm suffering then by all means, give me the big dose and help me over! (Which is not legal in my state sadly.)
This stage can make us caregivers think thoughts we never had before. It can make us panicky and become reactionary. There is no "undo" button. Make sure you are recognizing your own thoughts and feelings, give yourself permission to have whatever emotions happen, and stay in close touch with the hospice resources as they are your guides up & over this mountain. Blessings for you!
I sort of agree with both of the above. I don't see a need for morphine if she is resting comfortably without it, BUT if she is agitated or gasping for breath then to withhold it would cause unnecessary suffering. You need to talk this over with the hospice personnel and be sure you are all on the same page with this so there are no misunderstandings. Sorry you are having to deal with this.
It is a very commom practice to administer morphine and other drugs to keep the patient comfortable and pain free at the end of life. Try and put yourself in her place. How would you want to be treated at this point given the quality of life. I know it's very hard to watch someone's final days but usually nothing is gained from prolonging life at this stage.
Discuss options with the hospice nurse and social worker. The hospice social worker can help you process the questions you have about this stage of the game and anything that might be a worry to you after the fact.
I have seen people post here that they didn't want their loved one "doped up" at the end, and to that I ask why not? I want my family to do whatever it takes to make sure I am not suffering before and during dying. If they don't know that I love them by then, that's my fault. I know they love me, so I don't need any big deathbed theatrics or confessions. If I'm suffering then by all means, give me the big dose and help me over! (Which is not legal in my state sadly.)
This stage can make us caregivers think thoughts we never had before. It can make us panicky and become reactionary. There is no "undo" button. Make sure you are recognizing your own thoughts and feelings, give yourself permission to have whatever emotions happen, and stay in close touch with the hospice resources as they are your guides up & over this mountain.
Blessings for you!