My mom lives next door to me...Hospice tells me that if something should happen to her (ex: house fire and she dies) that I could be found 'negligent' because I'm her primary caregiver and she shouldn't be left alone. I have a monitor so I hear everything that goes on when I'm not physically there, I don't go anywhere except to shop once a week and my neighbor keeps an eye on her for the couple of hours I'm gone, so what's with this? Honestly, this info really shook me up and made me feel totally defeated! What am I supposed to do? Camp out at the foot of her bed in case something happens so I don't end up in prison?
If everyone gave their input, your mom would be locked away somewhere instead of at home. Same with our PD charge, would be in a nursing home,, oops, but there he goes, down the street in his walker to visit, gotta run, we keep an eye out for him as he is rather difficult to keep up with.
So sorry for what you are going through. And the fact that your care plan doesn't fit everyone else's idea is just too hard for them to deal with. Sounds like you are doing the best you can and your best may unsettle others putting them to shame.
Keep on, you are in a hard place, keep checking back, give us a chance to hear more of your concerns, or just to vent. How are you today?
I don't do prayers, but my thoughts are with you.
In your profile I see that Mom is 93 and has Parkinson's. Does she also have the dementia symptoms that often go along with Parkinson's?
I am so sorry, sulynn49, that you find yourself in this situation! Hugs to you.
Is your mother actually on hospice, sulynn49, or were you perhaps having a conversation to decide about bringing them in?
It sounds like you have been doing an awesome job in caring for your mother. You've made arrangements so that she can stay in her own familiar home and yet have supervision. Clever and responsible!
You don't say what your mother's impairments are. If you are talking to Hospice I take it that she is near the end of her life. Circumstances change. Impairments get worse. People with terminal illnesses often do reach a point where they should not be left alone. Could your mother be at that point now? Perhaps what was adequate and optimal in the past is not sufficient at this time.
What should you do? Did the hospice person make any suggestions, like admitting her to a nursing home, or to their own facility? If you really want to keep her at home until the end, could you "move in" for a few months? Take turns with other relatives?
Aside from the issue of negligence, leaving a person at the end of her life all alone seems very sad to me. I'm sure you are there a lot. I'm sure you are doing the best you can. It is just sad to think of a dying person being alone in a house for periods of the day.
Here is link that might help. It does list the cost for Hospice around the clock. I'm not sure what it means though.
How in the world is someone on hospice and living alone? wow....sad
She must be conscious if she's being monitored and her carer/daughter can hear everything she's doing.
I must say I find it peculiar that you would leave mom alone in her house when she is on hospice. If she is conscious, I can't imagine ANYTHING more lonely...
What are the terms of their involvement? 24/7 monitoring?
I would call the hospice administrator and get this clarified immediately. This is a serious statement to be confronted with. But I have to ask, is there any thing at moms house that would have alarmed the hospice people?