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Speak to the hospice nurse directly and ask a lot of questions so you'll know exactly what to expect. Ask for their handbook outlining protocols, and be sure you know precisely how hospice works in that your mother will not be transported to the hospital anymore unless there is a very specific extenuating circumstance going on, like a broken bone that needs to be cast. We get A LOT of posts here from people who did not understand what hospice was all about, and then say 'hospice killed my mother' when that's not how they operate at all. Comfort drugs ARE administered, however, so do ask lots of questions about how those are doled out as well.

I had 2 very good experiences with hospice for both of my parents, dad in 2015 and mom who passed in February while living in Memory Care. Hospice kept both of them comfortable and out of pain during their final days, and also provided me with comfort and counsel every step of the way. They brought in a hospital bed & supplies for my folks also, which proved to be very useful. I kept in constant contact with the hospice RN and she even gave me her cell phone number so I could text her with questions & concerns about mom's care. I was able to ask for mom's meds to be increased if I saw that she was agitated, and the nurse was able to read my text and get that authorization approved from the doctor in charge.

Wishing you the best of luck with a difficult situation.
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Reply to lealonnie1
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My mom went on hospice while in memory care. The hospice nurse came out for assessment. Along with a social worker. The nurse came weekly, a cna , twice a week. A chaplain 3 times a month, social worker monthly. Also social worker found a volunteer to visit every 2 weeks… more eyes ! Chaplain was the highlight for my mom.

Hospice nurse worked in conjunction with nurse practitioner overseeing my mom

hospice will provide depends , chux, soaps lotions etc.

will monitor and provide medications as needed.

they brought in a hospital tray table, a hospital bed , a wheelchair, as things progressed. Changed wheelchair to a Geri chair, then the hoyer lift.

nurse called me with updates every week. Twice I had to call hospice on the weekend for support. On call nurse came out and saw my mom. They are a Godsend !

at the end Hospice will handle the arrangements to funeral home etc.
I did not tell my mom she was on hospice. I told her it was the special program I found.
I wish you peace with the transition of life
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Reply to babsjvd
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iameli Sep 26, 2022
Did your mom have dementia? Our experience was that the social worker extensively questioned my MIL on her end of life wishes to make sure Hospice was her decision, she was not being influenced by someone else, etc. They covered quite a few details such as feeding tube, IV hydration, etc. MIL had cancer but was able to make her own healthcare decisions. My husband had POA but it was never activated.
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If you have a choice of what hospice to use, ask the MC which one is used the most by families there. That'll be the one whose staff will work most seamlessly with the MC staff.

Hospice while in MC is wonderful, because that hospice nurse is another set of eyes on your mom and ONLY on your mom for the duration of the visit. If that nurse also has other patients there, she'll be noticing little things about your mom while visiting her other patients, too, and can do a quick check on her if needed even if it's not Mom's day for an official visit.

My mother was on hospice in MC for the last seven months of her life, and it was a huge load off my mind as we switched to focusing on the quality of her life from the quantity of her life. Her nurse was wonderful, let me come to assist her on her visits to Mom when she did her wound care, and as that was still during the Covid lockdown, she enabled me to spend valuable time with Mom when visitors weren't allowed.

Your mom's hospice nurse will become your friend and support, too, if you're there enough of the times when she is. I cherish that nurse to this day, even though Mom's been gone over a year now and she's moved on to help other families.
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Reply to MJ1929
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My mom is in MC with dementia and is bedridden. She’s been on hospice care now for a year. I live out of state and was so grateful for the extra layer of care. As others here have said, it’s like having an extra set of eyes on Mom. I haven’t told my mom she’s on hospice care because she’s coherent enough to know what that means for some patients and I didn’t want to upset her. Anyway, like others have said here, it’s a Godsend.
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Reply to Lov2teach
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My Mom was in a NH on Hospice. I really was not involved. Mom was actively dying. Swallowing was the first thing to go. Thats when Hospice was called in. I was there for intake. Whats nice about Hospice in a facility is there is always someone there to care for Mom. So when the Hospice staff was not there, the facilities staff did the work. You just visit. Home Hospice means the family does most of the work.

I think the only thing you need to know is that Mom will be kept comfortable. Morphine will be given for pain and ease of breathing. Anxiety meds might be needed. Food and drink maybe stopped when signs that the body shutting down start. Giving food and water do more harm if the body is shutting down. Mom may sleep most of the time. Ask questions.
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Hospice can not duplicate services the facility provides, I should say the facility will not duplicate Hospice services. So if Hospice CNA's bathe or shower mom the facility staff will no longer bathe or shower her.
You will also get support from the Hospice team. If mom needs a better bed or mattress than the one she has it will be provided. Hospice will also provide briefs aka diapers, wipes, creams, ointments, gloves and medications will also be provided. The Hospice team will manage pain and symptoms. Hospice can also provide a Volunteer that can come in and visit mom.
Hospice was the best decision I made, it made the others easy because I had support
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Reply to Grandma1954
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In in Pennsylvania memory care, my mom’s hospice came 5x a week for 1 hour. Included aide, nurse manager, chaplain, when my mom went to skilled nursing: 3 x times a week
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MC may not provide feeding assistance in her room when eating declines. The same goes with bathing once bedridden. I was asked about mom being bumped up to SNF, but she passed within the next few days. A lot will depend on her rapid decline. You may choose to visit her during a lunch or dinner to offer food, or hire an extra hand maybe to visit from noon to 4 with the intent of offering some food and drink. Just remember that if she chooses not to take nourishment then she is transitioning.
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Reply to MACinCT
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TakeFoxAway Sep 26, 2022
What is SNF?
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Prayers to you & Mom🙏🏻

Hospice was a Godsend for both my parents..RNs, office staff, Chaplain, LSW, etc were great. All staff were readily available for questions, concerns, peace of mind.

Morphine for comfort, bathing, alternating pressure mattress, wound care, etc..Grief counseling to help you, as well.

Thoughts are with you/Mom, in this final chapter. Hospice was a Blessing during this very emotional journey. 🙏🏻❤️🤗
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Reply to cinzim281
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Be careful with Hospice! While it is good to get extra care (if the caregiver is good), they will do NOTHING to help your mother if she is having a medical issue. Be very careful of words like 'actively dying'. It is a term I found they use when they are killing them through neglect!!! Make sure that she always has enough water and food. That is one way they will try to kill a patient. That is how they killed my sister. By denying her all food and water. When they said she was actively dying. I asked from what. They could not tell me ...because she was NOT dying. They just decided it was time for her to die and they no longer wanted to care for her. They tried to use the excuse that she was not eating or drinking on her own. Well she needed help walking since they would not assist her to go get the food or water ...they let her suffer.

You can accept the hospice for now ...but you can ALWAYS refuse it again at any moment you feel that she needs medical care. They will even try to refuse the most simple things to save her. Don't let them get away with that. Many people are being killed in homes and hospitals especially right now when they try to prevent loved ones from visiting.

Hospice can be a blessing or a curse! Please keep an eye on whoever you choose to care for her and be active in what is going on.
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Reply to FamilyNeeded
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MACinCT Sep 27, 2022
There may be some confusion the way the OP phrased the question. To be clear, the patient or the guardian approves hospice. The decision is not made by doctors unless it is in a few European countries. It is offered by the family as an option. The way it is described here is phrased like it is euthanasia, which it is not. If the patient does not want to eat or drink, does not ask for anything, then only offerings are given. The main goal is comfort care and the rule of rescue is changed.

To the OP, a SNF is a skilled nursing facility or NH.
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