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Is it weird for Hospice not to have contacted me after my Dad passed on Monday? I don't really need anything from them, but would gladly accept their condolences. Especially wanted to hear from his nurse. We have been in frequent contact over the last 3 months. Someone told me that staff are not allowed to contact the family? Is this true? It just seems weird.

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I heard from our hospice social worker the day after my brother passed. It was a really good conversation. But I didn't expect to hear from anyone else in hospice.

A few weeks later we actually received a condolence note from his team at the cancer center, including some notes, from all of his doctors and nurses who cared for him over 14 months of hell. It was quite touching and unexpected.

My brother didn't have many friends, but someone in the neighborhood left an unsigned note that said they were happy to have known him with a little jar of flowers by the door. I get teary about that even typing this now, 5 years later. These little gestures can mean a lot!
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Reply to ShirleyDot
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I’m sorry for your loss. Our hospice nurse told me when dad began their services that they often receive blame and hostility when the patient dies, despite the patient being well informed and choosing hospice. The hospice nurses are an easy target for a grieving family so they tend to back off quickly. We received calls and notes from others in the agency but the nurse withdrew. I understand you’re wondering in this, does seem you should have heard from someone. Wishing you healing and peace
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Reply to Daughterof1930
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Someone from Hospice normally would be in touch with the person who is directing care with them as regards the one who has passed. Has no one from Hospice contacted any member of your family at all? I would call them if this is so. They do offer condolences ordinarily and it is most often their social worker who would contact you. I can't help but think something has slipped through the cracks. Especially if you wish to speak with a particular person or have a particular question I would call them.
My condolences on your loss.
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Reply to AlvaDeer
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I would think as a Hospice employee its better not to get too attached. These people work with death on a regular basis. There must be some burnout along the way. I cannot remember if I received a card for Mom. I did get letters over the year that told me about bereavement help but I chose not to take it.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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I did not hear from the nurses after my dad passed in September, but I did receive a letter in the mail from the chaplain. I believe they offer bereavement services for one year after death.

Because my mom is also on hospice, the same nurse continues visits with her, however it is business as usual.

I can understand how it may feel like an abrubt end to the relationship you had with your dad's nurse, especially at such an emotional time, a time of need.

Perhaps expressing your thoughts to the hospice social worker or chaplain might allow you to send or receive a message to/from the nurse?
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Reply to DaughterofAD3
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You will get an invitation to participate in a Bereavement session. the one that I went to after my Husband died was 1 time a week for 3 or 4 weeks. Each was about an hour or so long.
But there are always bereavement counselors that you can talk to.
I have never heard that the staff is not permitted to contact family.
I would call the Hospice and ask.
It is possible that this is now handled by the Bereavement Team and they will be the ones to contact you.
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Reply to Grandma1954
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Contact them for a chaplain or social worker. All hospices must provide one or the other to you for 13 months after a death. Ask this person whether a meeting with the nurse or a card exchange can be arranged.
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Reply to PeggySue2020
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It probably comes down to the personality of the administrator and the nurse, some would make it a priority to reach out and to some you're just another client. But since they do often offer chaplaincy and grief counselling services you would thing calling and asking if you need anything would be the least they could do.
BTW, I'm sorry for your loss
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Reply to cwillie
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