Hospice called and said dad has short time to live. We are not close because he abused me as a child. Should I go 2,500 miles to be with him?

I think that you should do what you feel in your heart of hearts that you will be comfortable living with when he does pass. There's not a free pass that comes with aging that erases the damage our parents sometimes do to us. You have no need to feel guilt if you do not go. However, the fact that you feel the need to ask others opinions on the matter concerns me that you might feel conflicted about making the "right" choice. There is no right or wrong here, only the need to do what you need to work thru not only the grief of losing your father, but the grief that he so unnecessarily damaged your relationship with him for so many years. He made choices in his life that negatively affected you for the rest of yours, so don't carry any further burden on your shoulders about doing the "right" thing. Cut yourself some slack, don't worry about the "etiquette" surrounding what you "should" do, and just try to get thru this the best you can. I feel deeply for you.

I would go with your conscious. If you can be clear about your feelings and not go see him, then so be it. You have done a fabulous job being his care manager and have done more than most would have in your abusive situation.