As DPOA how do you honor the wishes of your Mom?

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She wants to live in her own home until she passes. It it not a realistic expectation if her health (COPD) deminishes or she developes dementia that will not allow her to live independently. She does not wish to move to live with my out of state sister or have my other sister move in with her. Living with me is not a feasible option. She will not even consider Assisted Living. She has some in home care, but my concern is when living independently is not financially or medically possible. What have others done?

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Sorry, didn't answer your question. What I'm doing is waiting until the bad happens and then having her placed either near me or in her hometown in care facility. She will have to go to hospital first and then medically transferred to care facility, that way she will be in the system and i won't have to actually fight with her by having her removed from the home.
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You may have DPOA, but as long as she is mentally competent (in drs opinion, not yours), she calls the shots. If she wants to use all her estate to pay for in home care 24/7, she can legally do so.

Right now, my mom refuses all outside help. She wants to remain in the home. No one nearby to take care of her or even check on her other than by phone. She is mentally competent EVEN with dementia diagnosis so DPOA means nothing at this point.

Don't promise anything. Tell her, she can remain in her home as long as she is able and accepts in home care and is cooperative with the care -- but also tell her "mom, we love you, and please understand that once your health or mental state is such that you can't be in your home and be safe, we will help you find the best place possible".

Don't argue with her at this point. You can prepare yourself by researching some places, costs, care offered, long term care needs they are capable of offering, waiting lists, etc so you are prepared when that time comes.

If mom becomes more open, you can take her to visit a couple but don't force the issue and don't bring it up all the time...take it from me, it backfired and mom has dug her heals in and won't consider any options but staying in her home without help.
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