My mother lives in Hawaii and I live in the continental US. I can not confirm that she is on drugs at this time, but the last time I saw her in May 2015 she was in the hospital for acute renal failure and the nurse disclosed that she had tested positive for amphetamines and prescription medication that she had not been prescribed. Just a little history: she has been using crack cocaine since I was around 12 and has been on disability since around that time. We were homeless through much of my teenage years and I moved out when I was 17, and left Hawaii when I was 19. When I saw her last May in the hospital, the nurse said that she had been in the hospital two weeks prior as well, and that if she continued to abuse drugs she would damage her kidneys to the point of needing regular dialysis treatments. It took her less than 2 months to get to that point. She had been living in care homes since around December 2014 when she lost her apartment. Over the past 8-10 years I have barely been in touch with her and in the past 5 years (prior to finding out about her chronic kidney failure) I may have spoken to her 4 times. This was due to her going on a very long rant over the phone and later in several emails about how I am such a bad daughter. She told me this because I tried to meet her for lunch while visiting in Hawaii and I only waited for an hour past the time she said she would meet me. I have trying to stay in touch with her over the past few months because I know that she will die sooner than later and I feel bad for her situation. I always speak kindly to her and do my best to tell her I love her, because I know it makes her happy. It has been difficult to stay in touch because she is in and out of shelters and the only way I can contact her is through her doctors and at her dialysis. She is now hospitalized again and it really pains me to hear her voice and to hear the fluid building up in her lungs. I have created a good life for myself and have a successful career. I make enough to save a little and pay all of my bills. If I was not afraid of her hurting me as she always has in the past I would take her in immediately. She is extremely difficult and erratic. Her nurses say that she is non-compliant, her social worker had been buying her bus passes and she would "lose" them by the next day. She used to steal from me when I was a teen to buy drugs and she has told me so many times that she is in control and that it is ok to smoke crack. She would ask my grandmother for money knowing that she could not say no. She used to ask me for money, but I started to refuse. After the hospitalization in May 2015 (when the nurse told me she was on drugs) she lied to me and told me that she was not on drugs and she did not know why she was hospitalized. That part of me that always wanted to have a mother wants to take her in, but I am pretty sure that it would not be good for me. I do not know what to do for my mother. I will be visiting in December and I know that I will go to see her and she will likely be in a shelter or a tent if I can find her. It is really very frustrating and painful.