Home nurse - busybody or caring?

We had private caregivers for 2 years for my mother. They were not with an agency. Less expensive but they call the shots. There is a downside to that too. When my Mom had surgery and she was in really bad shape, the doctor at the hospital said she definitely needed to go to rehab at the nursing facility. When my sister & I walked outside for a break, the caregiver came by to visit my mother and told the doctor who showed up at the same time in her room that sending my mother to rehab at a nursing facility was against the family's wishes!! We had to run to the nurse's station when the case worker came by & told us what the caregiver said and catch the doctor. He said he has seen caregivers do this before with the elderly. That caregiver was putting her own job ahead of my mother's health! Since Mom had an eye removed on top of everything else wrong with her, she could not have handled her at home immediately after her release. I fired the caregiver immediately. I was appalled that she actually did that. She had other people she did caregiving for too so it wasn't like she was totally out of a job and we were her clients, not her employer. Ask for a different person if you feel like this person is not the one for your Mom or if you are having problems before it gets worse.

Yes , my mom has late dementia and is 84. We have been thru agencies that promise the world of their caregivers. They did not follow our directions cuz we know what our mom needs. We have also had independent caregivers that acted like they knew everything about dementia . They all act like they know best. We’ve been thru it . We finally found a relaxed lady that will listen to us. So over all of this , I can’t be nice to these people after the things they did and didn’t do to help our mom. Please don’t be run over by someone who knows it all. You know your mom best of all.

I thought I already posted this but can't find.

I live in a small town. Our Homecare agency is affilated with a Hospital. They can suggest their services but until an actual eval and Medicare approval nothing they can do.

I have never had a problem with people who come from our HC. Mom had PT and OT in my home. When they mentioned they would be here at 8 am in the morning, I asked that it be 10am or after because I needed to get Mom up, dressed and breakfast before they came. They accommodated me. PT showed Mom how to use her walker.

Now my Dad. He had a therapist that walked into the house and told him "Mr. E this is what you are going to do" my Dad "no woman is going to tell me what to do". Not my Dads first rodeo and the woman hadn't even evaluated him to see what hevwas capable of. Mom said she came on a little on the strong side. She was replaced.

I worked with visiting RNs. The head nurse was always saying the nurses were going into peoples homes. You did what you needed to care for them, visit if u have time but...keep your personal opinions to yourself.

Tornajon ; Hi yup i get it !! I needed PT for my mom and the PTA talked more than she did therapy!! And the P T ended toooo quickly but i have had some absolutely wonderful home health care agencys dont get me wrong .and YES it seems as if they cant get done fast enough! Like 15 min or 1/2 hour at the most with nursing care !! I was a bit upset ! But they are not all this way!! We have gotten absolutely perfect nurses and PTs and PTAs GOOD LUCK!! p. s.ask co.pany for another nurse or just discontinue this company go with another!!

One of my mother's physicians and I butt heads a few times over his referring her to another specialist for a procedure that I knew she would refuse. But I listened and let her make the decision to see the other Dr. She did as I expected and refused treatment. Once her physician got the report from the specialist that it was her decision we got along much better. I showed that I would not interfere with his requests but that I did know what her decisions were going to be. Listen to what the RN is offering as suggestions, discuss them with Mom or other family members. Put in place what you feel will be helpful to her and keep the other recommendations at hand for when they might be needed.