My mom is 92, has later stage dementia, but physically pretty healthy. Being treated right now by a home health nurse for a bedsore, which is healing nicely. I have not met the nurse, but I have phone conversations and, frankly, don't like her. I don't think I'm hypersensitive, but she just sounds like an overbearing busybody trying to interject her agency into providing all sorts of other services just to get her claws into us, aka, make money. Sorry if this sounds unhinged, but I believe in less medical intervention than more. I'm not in denial regarding my mom's situation, but I know her and what works best for her. I feel the nurse is looking for ways to point out things we aren't doing so she can interject why we need hospice and her agency's services. I get the "ideal," but she doesn't seem to get we are working with a person with dementia and that all bets are off. Again, not looking for specific suggestions, maybe just feedback. Have you ever felt you were in a battle of wills with someone involved in the care of your loved one?
This will sound a bit brutal. But I suspect that if you continue this battle of wills as you are doing you will soon find APS knocking on your door. Consider the possibility that she is trying to prevent what she perceives as possible neglect. Nurses, I believe, are mandated reporters.
You'd do better to have more respect for her experience. If you're not happy with what her agency charges, you can always shop around.
Have you thought about the possibility that the nurse sees somethings that you don't? Drs and nurse are trained to see the human body as one system made up with many systems. What looks like just a bed sore to you, the nurse sees infections, muscle breaking down, tissue (skin) breaking down, circulation problems and etc.
I am with CM, I wouldn't put up to much of a resist you could lose that battle very quickly. The nurse has medical acknowledge and you don't therefore, APS or a judge will believe her over you.
Try to hire a different nurse or use a different agency. You might have the right to fire her; however, make sure you have someone to take her place.
You could be right that she is over stepping the line...but even if your right; what good is going to come out of it?
This is about your mom's health, not about who's will is stronger!
Something to think about!
She may also feel that the family contributed to the bed sore by not moving Mom around enough.
To answer your question, I rarely battle with someone over differences of opinions/advice. I tend to go with the flow. However, anything major - like going to the clinic or the ER, or for medications, I tend to ask a lot of questions. But I'm never confrontational. All of my parents' home caregivers and visiting home nurses in the past 25 years - were used to my constant questions. Why you're doing it that way? I do it this way.... What do you think I should take mom to the clinic? Ohhhhh…. If their reasoning sounds reasonable, logical, I follow them. If I disagree, I tell them so and why. Usually, they will give me more time to eventually see that they were right. Or wrong.
The question is, does your mother like the nurse? The nurse is there for your mother; if the nurse's personality truly does clash, of course another nurse can be requested. But the nurse is looking out for your mother's best interests.
What the others on here have said about the source of the wound being questionable, nurses being mandated reporters (all in the health field are mandated reporters), and the possibility of APS being called if your mother is left alone with dementia, all of that is true.
he was only on Aid and Attendance money which was first level 900.00
for only three years Dad was 96 when I applied for this WW2 vet...……….
and frankly the GP doesn't help....looks like they want all old people in a Nursing Home...…………...I mean you can barely get Dad to his Doctors office...….