Does anyone have to deal with a home-from-college teen (female) who has upset the quiet equilibrium we had with 93 yr old dad? HELP!

She turned you down , huh, cap'n ? ;0)

She's a late bloomer, isn't she? Often that surly stage happens at the end of high school.

The summer won't last forever, and neither will this self-centered stage. Unlike an elder with dementia, she is going to get past this and improve! Count the days. And have faith that this too shall pass.

To everyone's replies here I want to say THANK YOU so much! Loving her through it combined with a bit of tough love has worked well. She has come around and the attitude is gone. She has cobbled together 3 separate jobs to save $$ & she even pays us $20/wk board! We have opened a bank acct & are socking it in there to surprise her with it when she graduates as the 1st payments for 2 student loans. So she is working hard & to her credit is conscientious too. I LOVE THIS SITE! It's group therapy! Very helpful!

Tough love. You need to sit down with her and tell her that you need her support as you care for your father - and that if she continues to disrespect you and your father, she needs to find another place to live. Set your boundaries.

i send my youngest kid a text every now and then that says " suck balls " . he knows what i really mean from the heart is suck balls !!

Love her through it , kthln3, love her through it. I remember coming home from college my first year and having a hard time adjusting to being at home again--going from thinking only of myself and my needs to remembering that I was part of a family. Pretty soon she will probably not even opt to come home during her breaks -that is what I did. I think God makes "em bratty at that age so we want it get them out of the house and on their own! :0) I mean, if she were a delight maybe you would want her to stick around and she may not leave the nest---now I bet you can't wait! ;0)

Hang in there--- (((hugs))))

i can take a poke mishka. lol. no, i find the beauty in the older gals . the young ones are annoying..

Haha-I was just a teasing you cap'n .

Jeannegibbs --I think I am getting old because my first thought to your post was -"kids now of days are all late bloomers!" :^\

Cap'n -make peace with your son! Do it! NOW!

I can relate to having a child you don't like. Fortunately, with my daughter, that was age 8 to 11. She's 22, and often a pain, and really often a disruption, but now I can watch her start to grow into a wonderful adult.

Love her through it. It's not fair, and she is being a b**ch, but love her through it. She will get better. Don't take it personally. She has probably displaced all her faults onto you, so that she can endure being herself. She's glad to be "free", and terrified to be free. Be glad you don't have to live inside all that angst.

If you can stand to, I recommend saying "susie, I love you, even though you're being a bitch." or "I'm sorry you have such a horrible mother. But I do love you." It will remind her that you love her, let you be the bigger person, and really pi** her off, which is a bonus!

I have three daughters. I had one who was the best daughter any parent could want. Top of the class, valedictorian, went to Ivy league school. Came home after her first year, was a total A-Hole. She is now 12 years older, much nice but not all the A-Hole disappeared.

I have twins who went away to University of Florida, became nurses. One is a little prickly (as we say in the family) at times, the other a total sweet heart.

I don't think it is necessarily college that makes them the way they are, I just think it is part of their growing up, growing independent and growing into who they really are.

With the Ivey League princess, I set boundaries and things began to change. Sometimes these kids will take advantage of you if you let them. You have to be tough and demand respect.

They all eventually grow up, hopefully sooner than later.