Has anyone tried using in-home caregivers instead of placing their parent in a facility?

Brenda, it might be best to get your (sort-of, I know she isn't really your MIL) MIL's social worker to get in touch with the people running the HUD and figure this one out between them. If "MIL" doesn't have a named social worker, contact the Area Agency and ask them how you can set her up with one.

You have done so much for this lady, bless you; but now that you are quite rightly bowing out maybe it would be best to hand over as much as you can to the official channels, rather than an informal or voluntary network?

Though this is many years after the question was posted, I have something different for you to consider. I hired 24 care for my mother on short notice when my dad was hospitalized. Mom has dementia and couldn't be left alone. She loved her caregivers and was thriving. Then, dad came home and upset the applecart. We continued in home care for a few hours a day, and the quality of the caregivers changed drastically. The overnight people were experienced, compassionate and thorough. The part time day shift people were inexperienced, lazy and did not want to be there; and mom didn't like any of them. Unfortunately, I live several hundred miles away and I had to rely on dad's feedback only. When he came home once from his daily infusion and found feces and dirty clothes on Mom's bathroom floor, with a totally unaware caregiver still sitting at the kitchen table, he fired them. We then discovered a full bottle of Vicodin was missing. I would do it again if I could control the hours scheduled and monitor her care myself. Hope this helps.

I will quickly add that my stubborn language disabled mom did relatively poorly in my home with a very good 24 hour aide, and THRIVED in a good NH that we found about 10 minute’s drive away. Being close enough to be able to pop in at different hours of the day was a BIG help. NEVER AN EASY DECISION.

I have a caregiver for my father - about 16 hours a week. It's working great. I got the name of a local agency from my local senior center. They gave me a list and I called several to speak to them and 'feel them out'. And have a wonderful reliable group. Your local Elder Services should be able to help. We pay $25.00 per hour, which is average.