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Mom, Chicago IL, wants to stay home, but we don't have much of the family support, most of the weight is on a 2 or 3 family members, my Mom is bedridden.

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Ditto to comments below. Makes no sense to have several people orbit around her at great expense of time and resources. Yes, in-home care will eventually exceed the cost of a good quality NH and I think this is the trigger to transition. She is romanticizing her staying in her home at the cost of her family.
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That’s a great way to put it Geaton. It makes no sense, and IMHO it’s not really fair, for multiple family members to sacrifice their lives so that ONE family member can stay in their home because that’s what that one person wants. It’s not your family’s responsibility to keep you in your home when you’ve become bedbound and unable to take care of yourself. It’s really rather selfish to expect your family to do that.
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Her needs are all that matter now, the days of her wants have long passed, she is bedridden, it is time for her to be placed.

Do what needs to be done for her well-being.
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Focus not on what your mom wants but what she needs. What’s best for her. Sounds like it’s time for long term care. She needs a small village to take care of her.
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