My father-in-law hired a young woman to cut his grass. Now he's been having her over for dinners. What can we do?

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She tells him how difficult she has it. She calls him to stop over. Something is wrong, she is 40 and he is 87. His wife has been gone for over 5 years.

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Thanks Maggie!
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MG . . . I doubt most people thought that. Your post didn't come off that way at all. As I stated in an earlier post, I'd be concerned as well. There are way too many sharks in this world. Heck, all you have to do is read on this forum, and you'll get an ear-full. They're out there. She is acting suspicious.
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This is no joke.....thanks of those that have shown concern, I appreciate the advice. But we have two clowns on this thread ......that this seems like a joke. I am strong believer in karma!
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It's about being scammed.......I have my OWN money....We support ourselves. Don't lump me into your life. This comes from love and concern. He could leave his assets to anyone. Those funds belong to him......not my husband not I. I take great offense to your comment sodone! You don't know my family and I certainly don't know yours. After the love of his life passed away....He was devastated. We had him over and helped to care for him, we dried his tears. We watch over him.....nothing else. How dare say it's about inheritance......It's the farthest from the truth.
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gont act so shocked junior junior ..
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im 56 yrs old , male , saving money now so i CAN spend it on hors and riotous living later . now this post worries me that my kids will try to harsh on my buzz when im 80 ..
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No, I wouldn't be concerned. I would want my FIL to be happy. If a relationship with a young woman made him happy, I'd be all for it. (BTW, I'm the product of a May-December romance that left my father's adult children absolutely livid that their share of the inheritance was significantly reduced by my coming into the world. Not that your FIL will have a child with this lady. But in the end, it's often all about money, and not what makes dad happy.)

Is it the fact that you're worried she's going to drain his bank account that's bothering you, or that you think she has loose morals? It's his money to spend as he likes, and you say his mind is clear, so is the real issue a concern that there'll be less of an inheritance when he passes on?
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Responding to Sodone.....I could agree with your comments if my FIL's habits hadn't changed. All his life, he trusted no one. He gets very upset when he needs to spend money. It wouldn't be alarming if she wasn't spending nights with our neighbor and now she doesn't talk to him anymore and has moved on to my FIL. I think you would be concerned too.
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I would see if I can check daily on his bank accounts and credit cards, by looking on line. If he isn't using a computer, talk with him about setting up the accounts so that you can take a daily look.

Hopefully, the relationship is nothing. It sounds like he is moving on after losing his wife.
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I'm going to play devil's advocate here for a minute. If the background check turned up nothing to ring any alarm bells, and she hasn't asked your FIL for money, what's so bad about them having dinner together? And by dinner, I mean dinner and dessert?
If it makes him happy, why shouldn't he enjoy this woman's company? I don't think it's terrible that he's not going to the cemetery as often as he used to. His wife has been dead for five years, after all.
If he's mentally competent, I'd say stay out of it unless you have a reason to suspect that she's up to no good. Haranguing your FIL about how you suspect she's a gold digger will only make him more determined to keep seeing her.
I know you're not happy about it, and I probably wouldn't be either, if I were in your shoes, but sometimes you have to realize that you need to back off. Going over there whenever you see her approaching might backfire if your FIL gets the idea that the only way to get his family off his back will be to elope with her to Las Vegas.
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