My father used to be a personal hygiene neat freak. Now he leaves his depends sometimes on top of the trash can I leave in his room, instead of inside. How should I approach this sensitive subject with him? I am new to this caregiving job, just three months in the actual physical part. He has dementia, alzheimer's type I believe.
My father has Alzheimer's and one of our biggest problems was his going into the bathroom and staying FOREVER. Mom wouldn't go to bed at night until he came out of the bathroom. Sometimes that would be 3 hours!!! He would get angry with her if she tried to hurry him up. She kept trying to figure out a "reason" for this behaviour. To me it was clear. Due to the Alzheimer's he didn't know the difference between 3 minutes and 3 hours. Also, he had forgotten how to brush his teeth, shave, etc. and I think just spent most of his time like a deer in the headlights staring in the mirror or sitting on the toilet sound asleep.
We found that when we told him his toilet was broken and had to share the other bathroom with others, his politeness memory kicked in and he got out of the bathroom more quickly. That doesn't help you much if you only have one bathroom, though. Will he allow anyone to go into the bathroom to help him? Maybe you can call through the door that his favorite snack, beverage is ready now and he won't realize you are trying to hurry him out?
She outwieghs him by quite a bit. We are trying to get mom out of the place they live for interaction with other people but dad tells her that every time she leaves he dies a little bit. I'm afraid dad has caregiving and controlling mixed up but he's such a mess no one wants to be around him. How much power do his children have when it comes to hiring someone to bathe him and help him with his hygeien? His daughters cannot assume the role because of past sexual deeds and inuendoes. He Poo's all over the bathroom and says our sins will be forgiven if we clean it up. Are we alone in this?