Should my MIL have hip replacement surgery?

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My MIL has the worse arthritis our local ER dr has ever seen. It handicaps her from getting any exercise. On top of that she has AFIb, CHF, and poor circulation in her lower legs (cellulitis). She hobbles when she walks, uses a cane and can barely get from car to couch. Her health has deteriorated so much over the last 2 years. She refuses to take any medicines prescribed to her and only uses natural homeopathic medicines. I am a retired nurse so I know she is labeled "non-compliant" in her charts. After a wreck she stayed in the hospital for a week to receive Iv antibiotics and I took the opportunity to ask if they could do physical therapy while she was there. All she did was complain and never went on her own once she got out. "They made her do stuff that hurt her". I'm frustrated and heart broken because I know there's no magic pill. It's like she has given up. Should I?

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That's funny, she did mention that the girl helping her was "too busy flirting with the doctors to help her"


And your right midkid...it IS what I want and I wouldn't get over it if I forced her to do something she didn't want and it turned out bad. It's just hard seeing her in so much pain. I'll take your advice and step back. Today was harder than most so I guess I just needed to hear it from an outside perspective.

Thank you both! If she ever does decide I'll make sure she gets a cutie pie therapist!
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If your MIL doesn't "do" medicine, only holistic stuff--what makes you think she'd be on board for a hip replacement? The rehab from that is pretty grueling for even a "young" person.

I think you have to just step back and let her make her own choices. If it's any consolation, it sounds like she wouldn't even qualify for one--for one thing, the anesthesiologist might not "accept" her, she may not be a good candidate for one, the list goes on.

Also, if she's non-compliant, what makes you think she'd suddenly be OK with all the PT and fussing about that goes along with this type of surgery?

It's sweet that you care so much, but I would let this one pass. It's what YOU want for her, not what SHE wants,. sounds like. You're not doing anything wrong, you just care, which is wonderful.

At some point, many elderly people really DO "just give up"...and that's OK. It's part of life. I'm sorry you are having a hard time with it.
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Gigi, the only way my Mom would do physical therapy [she also wasn't good even with the slightest of pain] was if the physical therapist was male and a rather handsome man.   Then she made sure she had a ride to her appointments.   It was cute seeing Mom being in her 90's having a crush.   She would even do her exercises at home on a regular routine.

My Dad was the same way, he didn't mind doing physical therapy but was more attentive if the therapist was a sweet young thing :)   Then he would become a show-off even in his 90's.  Once home, Dad glued himself to the recliner and didn't practice his exercises. 
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