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The most puzzling thing is that he knows all his family and friends but thinks my mother is his grandmother who passed away over 70 years ago. I’ve heard plenty of stories where a person with dementia doesn’t know of recognize a close family member, but this is not really the case with Dad. He insists that his grandmother (my Mom) has caused his wife to leave the house sad that she will not return until his grandmother leaves. He doesn’t want her to pay bills or do other banking because “ she has no authority “ (she’s his grandmother and not his wife)


He keeps asking where my Mom is and why she left. It’s causing a lot of anxiety for them both. He was on Serequel while he was in hospital and it seems to me and the rest of the family that this all started then. He is no longer taking it but is on 50mg of Trazodone at night.


Would love to know if any of you have experienced this with a family member!

yes I understand what lymie is saying - your mom is older now. but your dad probably remembers mom as being young.

I don't think my dad knew who I was sometimes, because he still thought I should be 10 years old. and not in my 50's.

I read once to show them a picture of yourself when you looked younger so they can see its still you. (if it helps, it is only temporary help)
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Reply to wally003
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I assume you have talked to his doctors about this? They might be able to further adjust or change his meds to help. While it may not help much I have heard and it makes some sense to me that this transferring identity can happen between 2 people the patient has been close to in their lives. He thinks his wife is his GM because he is remembering them at a different time in life, his wife is the age he has fondest memories of his grandmother as being and his wife is older than he remembers her being so this person can't be her. Not sure I'm explaining that well but hopefully you get the idea. It's sweet in a way but of course doesn't help day to day life. I'm sure there must be tools for dealing with it you just need to find the right experts with experience in this.
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Trazadone is billed as an anti-depressing that is also for anxiety and paranoia like Xanax. It’s also used as a mild sedative in the elderly. Side effects are aggression, irritability, panic attacks, extreme worry, restlessness, abnormal excitement and can cause thoughts of suicide.

Any medication thay affects someone’s mind like that can for sure affect their behavior. It affects everyone in different ways. I took Trazadone once. My doctor didn’t want to prescribe Ambien for me. I had the weirdest dreams ever. That was with one pill, one time. Same thing with Wellbutrin. No one knows how you’ll react until you take it. When your mind is already compromised, side effects can certainly be magnified.

Insisting someone is someone else is unfortunately very common with people who suffer from dementia. My mother said I was her co-star on the Broadway Stage. She was very upset that “they” hadn’t called her for any roles lately. She said all she was getting were commercials on the “damn tv” and she didn’t want to do those. I actually told her I’d speak with the theater manager and find out what was going on. What if you have “Grandmother” leave, telling Grandpa you’ll go call Mom, have her change her shirt or sweater and come back as “Mom”. The banking and checkwriting? Well, have mom do it out of his view.
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Reply to Ahmijoy
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