What do I do? My father has just me and my daughter who has autism and mental health difficulties. I'm a care worker and he is so demanding he emotionally blackmails me by staying in bed. He has had double pneumonia 5 times in 18 months through bad discharge.. however he has had a really great recovery last time and when I asked him to mobilize he give us abuse. He phones and lies about the care home to make me go there he has no dementia and is a real attention seeker he does and says awful things. My life the past 18 months has fell apart I'm so depressed I feel like running away but have no money because of the time I've had away from work ...I've lost my relationship and can't even take a break on holiday as he makes himself I'll and I have to come back ...what do I do please help I've cancelled Christmas as he's gone back in and I'm sick of arguing with Drs at not a great hospital. We live in England.
You can only change your reaction to it. Stop responding. Stop showing up.
Call his bluff. You are reinforcing his bad behavior, thus GUARANTEEING that he will continue it.
Dad is in a place where people understand the behaviors and eccentricities of old age. They are caring for him. You are his daughter but not his hands-on, 24/7 caregiver any longer. When his number comes up on the ID, don’t answer unless you choose to. If there is an emergency, the facility will call you, not him.
Conduct yourself in a way that disproves the lies and complains of your father’s words. Be a loving daughter, but not overeager to do all his bidding. Once he realizes he cannot use you for his own entertainment, I’ll bet he will back off.